How to make being a lone parent easier...

[Lifeafternarcabuse]

Hi all, im a single parent to 2 dc, 8 years and 20 months. I have 1 day a week where my 20 month old goes her to her dad and my 8 year old stays with me and then the following week i have 1 kid free day. So as you can see not alot of free time and i wanted to know how you all make your life easier as a single parent? Is there any tips or tricks

Do you want more child-free time? Maybe offer some more time to the father(s)? you never know.

Otherwise maybe a day with grandparents here and there? Organise a night out with grandparents sitting?

Thanks for your post! Ive offered them to have more contact with dc's one will and one dad refuses point blank as he uses our dd to control me still.... i dont have any other support apart from the kids dads

Well I know this probably goes without saying but i'll say it anyway. Don't ever feel bad about wanting a break. It's hard work being a parent sometimes and everyone needs to let some steam off.

I assume babysitters are out of the question?

How about a mum group of some sort? I'm not fully familiar with them but I do know some will take turns looking after kids for play dates etc, so the other will get a night off and vice versa.

I'll let some mums with more experience hopefully point you in the right direction if this doesn't help but good luck whatever advice you're given!

If you just want ways of making life easier when there's only one adult at home.

I find it really hard to cook for 1 adult and a child, and found I was throwing away alot of vegetable etc, bulk cooking becomes your friend, get a slow cooker and a Morphy Richards soup maker.
Make chili, casseroles etc in the slow cooker, eat for your dinner that night and freeze the rest.
When you are coping the vegetables for the meal, do some extra and throw it in the soup maker, freeze that too.

The soup maker can also be used to make smoothies, so I always throw in any fruit that's been hanging around a while, Dd is much more likely to drink it in a smoothie or I freeze it to make smoothie lollys.

Make sure you are stocked up with medicines for both you and DC, especially if you haven't got anyone nearby that could get you some in the middle of the night.

Same goes for quick microwavable meals or some longlife milk or pasta in case the kids or you are ill.

I taught Dd to use the toaster and microwave at 8 although she's not allowed to use the kettle. Now I prepare breakfast during the week and she makes it at the weekend.

I keep an old duvet already made up so that should there be any sickness (we're past the stage of bed wetting) I can strip the bed quickly and throw the spare duvet on without messing around trying to make up the bed.

Thanks for those tips mega mega helpful and thanks for all your replies.

I cant afford a baby sitter and my dd has a disability which makes it hard for others to look after her however no harm in trying right!

I found scouts/ cubs/ beavers was a great lifeline . The odd night away, a couple big hours an evening once a week though I only have one dc.
I find doing what works for us. Dragging my Ds into my world . He is 12 but loves Emerdale and even wanted to go on the tour.

There is a fb group for Dla days out . You can often get in places as a carer with Dla lette

The oldest must go school and the youngest will go to nursery soon so I guess then? If the dads won’t have them and you have no one else who can? What about friends/family?? My ex is absent so I never get a break. Not much that can be done though really if they won’t have them.

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime, great tip re the duvet. Will definitely do this going forward, thanks!

OP, Don't be afraid to get your kids involved in things (might be more of a hindrance to begin with, but will get easier over time and having them help around the home should be "normal"). My DC is 2.5yrs and loves helping with the "cooking". He can put bread in the toaster (with supervision, obvs), can grate cheese, can stir scrambled eggs. He loves it.

He can sort the darks and lights for the washing machine and knows where to turn the dial to and which buttons to push (I double check and do the powder obviously).

We put on a fast song at the end of each day and we have until the end of the song to get all the toys put away. It's a fun game for him and one less thing for me to do once he's in bed.