What contact would he get?

[annablack]

IF he went to court ( I don't think he will though ). Basically the back ground is ive been a single mum since the day my daughter was born and throughout pregnancy. DD is nearly 2 now. Currently he lives 45 mins away from us yet he's only bothered to see DD on a visit maybe an hour every 2/3 weeks and constantly makes excuses. He has never had her overnight and never wanted to. He is like a stranger to her ( not nice to say but true ). I've tried my hardest to get him to be more involved but he isn't interested. It's the same with his family. I'm thinking of moving 4 hours away back to where my family is. This is 100% better for my daughter than being stuck here with no family waiting to see if he can be bothered with her or not. If he went to court ( it would purely be for control purposes or it would kick him up the ass ) what contact would he likely be given in these circumstances?. He drives. Thanks in advance for any advice given.

Sorry talking about my child's father on this post ( It's quite obvious but I didn't say )

He could get a prohibitive steps order to stop you moving. I think you could benefit from so legal advice as to how to approach this if he is determined to block your move. You need to think about how the move would benefit your daughter and how you would work to maintain contact. Bear in mind that some judges would expect you to do all the travelling as you would be the one moving away.

@Lonecatwithkitten would he still be able to get that with not being on the birth certificate?. He didn't get in contact with me until DD was 3 month old so he's not on it

Likelihood is with you relocating so far that you'd be required to do a significant amount of the travel and I would think that through first as it would be at your cost. Whereas if he travels for more than £10 in costs he can't reduce maintenance payments.

Secondly because of the difference in distance, day trips wouldn't be appropriate so more than likely longer breaks pretty much from the get go. So 4 hours travel may mean that say in line with school terms, though not school age, he'd be getting at least 3 or 4 nights then, quickly building to a week via courts , plus as many long weekends as were practical for him to manage.

Have you broached the topic!?

Is he OK the bc?

He's had contact so could get a prohibitive steps order and get added to bc at the same time!

He could in theory ask for up to 50/50 but you could also insist on supervised contact for a while so he could re establish a proper relationship routine before overnights were a possibility. He could insist that you do all pick ups and drop offs as you moved away but whether or not this happens seems to be luck. If he had 50/50 he'd be responsible for childcare expenses on his day as well as picking up and dropping off.

There are no grandparent rights unless there's extreme circumstances like you and ex being drug addicts who can't take care of dd so his family can't stop you moving. In the case of divorce, each parent is responsible for their parents having contact with the child.

@SoloMummy thanks, haven't approached the topic yet. Just a thought.

Getting added to a bc isn't hard but costs money. Is it possible his laziness means that he wouldn't want the hassle and cost?

@strawberrylipgloss I'm honestly not sure, it could go either way

Bump

as long as he is not on the births certificate he can do nothing.
First he has to ask for being confirm as a dad. then he can ask for contact time. He did not show any interest so far so he will not get 50/50 straight away.

If you want to move you don't have to raise the topic, just move. Today he is legally no one to your daughter.
If you want to use your moving plans as a threat or manipulate him to be more interested or he will loose the easy access as a punishment, then yes, give him a call and present your possible future plans.

@Annaminna thanks, how would he get 50/50 though, would a court really award him that with living a 4 hour drive each way apart . I don't know how that would work when my daughter went to school etc

FYI
if you move before he starts applying for a declaration of parentage you will not be considered as someone who moved away.
You will not get any extra expenses or expectations to do drop offs.
If you threatening him first with your moving away and then going so, then in this case yes, it will be taken in-count as deliberately being dismissive and parental alienation.

@Annaminna ok thank you