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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

do your dc's have a step mum, and what do they call her?????

12 replies

Tottie32 · 06/09/2007 18:30

??????

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persephonesnape · 06/09/2007 19:40

they have a 'significant other' and they call her by her first name. I hate all this false-relative 'aunty' stuff or any possibility of her being called anything like mum or 'mummy - her-name'.

Original poster

Tottie32 · 06/09/2007 20:27

it is my ex got married a month or so ago and the other women said to my dd, you can call me step mum now, and i am so upset by this... i am her mum, i gave birth to her, i look after her 99% of the time,
the other women just happens to have married dd's dad, and i think dd should call her by her first name....?

any other ideas

OP posts:

Surfermum · 06/09/2007 20:35

That's a very odd thing to want to be called. Did she mean she can be referred to as her step-mum (eg "that's my step-mum over there)), or does she actually want her to use it instead of her name (eg "step-mum, is it OK if I have a biscuit).

BonyM · 06/09/2007 20:36

Yes - dd1 has a stepmum - she calls her by her first name (well an abbreviated version).

I would be furious if she tried to make dd call her any version of "mum". Mind you, I can't stand the woman anyway...

Having said all that, dd1 calls my dh "Daddy". Used to call him by his first name but since dd2 came along, he has been "Daddy" to her as well. She's closer to him than to her real dad though and has lived with him for more than half her life.

TheMoistWorldOfSeptimusQuench · 06/09/2007 20:42

I think she should be called by her first name, as would any other adult in her life apart from immediate relatives.

Do you know how she feels about you & your DD? Whether she has respect for you & your parenting of DD? I think you need to find out & call a summit to lay down some ground rules, as this could be the thin end of the wedge.

Difficult for you

Surfermum · 06/09/2007 21:13

Does your xp mind BonyM? Like you, dh would be furious if he thought another man was being allowed to be called Daddy.

McEdam · 06/09/2007 21:15

Very strange request, Tottie. I called my step-mother by her first name. Of course!

Original poster

Tottie32 · 06/09/2007 21:23

i was just wondering what everyone thought before i talked to ex dp about it....

i have never met her. although have bumped into them a while ago before they wed.. but nothing was said i just smiled and carried on walking i think ex dp was also in shock as he didnt even wave or say hello to dd,

OP posts:

macdoodle · 06/09/2007 21:31

I have had a step mum since I was 15/16 initially hated her now get on famously and gang up on my dad - I have always called her by her first name cannot imagine any different - my H would be absolutely gutted and devastated if our DD ever called a future NP daddy but then although he is crap husband and not brilliant at any practical fathering skills - he absolutely adores her

beansprout · 06/09/2007 21:34

Dsd has always used my first name. Has never occurred to me that she should call me anything else. Her mum is her mum and I am her dad's partner (now wife).

Original poster

Tottie32 · 06/09/2007 21:34

well i did wonder of taking the approach of how would you feel if dd was to call someoen daddy? and see what he says

OP posts:

BonyM · 07/09/2007 18:16

Surfermum - don't really care what ex-h thinks tbh .

It was completely dd1's decision to start calling dh "Daddy" - we could hardly tell her not to. I think she didn't want to feel she was any different from her sister.

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