I've posted on here before about my ex partner who left us last year for another woman (a girl 13 year younger whom he'd known a couple of months.) The relationship was very unstable due to his behaviour and every time I tried to leave I would be 'loved bombed' and promised the world. All lies though and his controlling, abusive behaviour would continue.
Once I really started fighting back and showing that I understood my worth, he went off with someone else. He did the narcissist thing of not offering an explanation, cutting all contact, refused to speak to me just stuck to having lo once a week and avoided any conversation. His family knew and never told me. He then started making small comments, putting the feelers out about coming back one day etc. Making brief statements about having sex and so on. By now however, I'd gathered there was more going on.
Over the last 2 months I have made it abundantly clear that I would never have him back. I underwent so much abuse during our relationship and although I knew his behaviour was wrong, I didn't understand the full extent until I was released from it.
He has never been consistent or stable in our lo's life and wasn't too consistent once we'd been separated for around 2 months. He has refused to contribute towards lo but has bought himself a new car and is taking his girlfriend on holiday. He is always in new clothes but has watched me struggle to make ends meet. Financial abuse was a big factor throughout our relationship. He keeps all his money for him and his girlfriend and won't even take lo to the park, just sits in front of the TV.
Contact has moved to every other weekend as he was showing up late, not showing up at all etc. His girlfriend refuses to speak to lo, lucky if she says hello. She hates children and doesn't have any herself. She quit her job because she came into contact with them. She has made vicious remarks about me on social media and people I know have come back and told me. She also complains about my ex spending 1 night with our lo. I feel like we are a constant form of annoyance and it is made obvious by the way we are spoken about. Despite never meeting her personally. My ex never defends the fact he should see lo either. In fact, he just keeps her happy all the time.
The last 2 months I have really had to be firm about not having him back as in a round about way, he's mentioned it several times. Now the penny has dropped and we are moving on with our lives without him, he has become increasingly aggressive towards me (not a new thing) and yells at me every time I see him. He lies about me constantly as little things have come back and comments made have been seen online. An ex work colleague of his told me a pack of untruths my ex had told people in his works. Said I'm a slag, I cheated, I drink heavily, never care for my lo. Truth is I am the only person who is there for my lo 24/7. Recently and since I have gone no contact as my mum now drops lo off to him, he has started ramping up saying derogative things to lo about me who is then saying things to me, they are only 3. Also, he seems to have made out to his girlfriend that I have been saying things about her to him and continuing with his lies. Trying to make out that I want to split them up, something I have never or would ever do.
What I want to know is, when will it stop? And how? I get the impression he's making some last ditch attempt to remain relevant in some way, despite not really being so anymore. It's got to the stage I don't want lo seeing him, for fear they will become the same abusive, twisted, lying, self conceited person who will grow up to abuse others. And because I can't stand lo thinking about me in such a derogative way. I'm sorry if that's selfish. Please, what do I do?