Ex Husband doesn't want any contact

[FeliciaLong]

My ex Husband doesn't want any contact with his two daughter who are 2 and 4 years old. If I go and see a solicitor what can they do?

I was stopped at the airport with my children. It has nothing to do with names. They want to know both parents are aware children are trying to enter another country. They don’t question every time, but I have been questioned twice out of 6 times.....perhaps I just look dodgy

she said she can help me with other things too. I simply ask everyone on here what that could be?
How the fuck would we know? We can't work out what the hell you're on about, let alone what she means. Firstly, ask her. Secondly, what do you want? You keep snapping about "I don't want xyz, imy not worried about xyz" well what the fuck are you worried about? What's your question? What would you like your solicitor to help you with?
Jesus Christ. How would you answer a thread that said "I'm buying a house, has anyone been in the same position?" "I'm going to Tesco, what shall I do there". We're trying to be helpful, but give us a fucking clue!

Nothing much to be honest.

Sadly you can’t force someone to be a loving and involved parent and quite honestly this is a blessing in disguise.

Your DDs are young enough to forget him - let them.

Pursue for cm if you need to, but if doing so makes him want contact purely to reduce his costs there I wouldn’t bother.

“yes take his rights away! If he doesn't want to parent, why on earth should the OP be forced to ask him permission every time she takes the kids on holiday or for his permission to apply for school for example!!!!!”

I totally agree!

Unfortunately this is incredibly hard to do if he’s unwilling.

Even people who’ve severely abused their dc don’t always lose parental rights.

There are as has been explained a few things you can do to ease certain situations but these deadbeats can be very awkward over the years having points where they do wish to exercise control, that’s what you need to try and mitigate against, but there’s few options for this.

www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

Of course you need permission, but the op is refusing to listen to that and has said she’s not concerned about that so pointless trying to convince her otherwise. The link clearly explains that you need permission unless you have CAO.

I actually went back over my comment to see what I had said that was offensive to you but I wasn’t rude at all, Theres only one person that’s been rude and it’s you op, I’m glad I’m not the only one to point it out as I was confused by your comment!

Oh and you don’t need permission to apply for schools not sure where op got that from as it’s incorrect

Personally I'd get a new solicitor as yours doesn't seen to know family law very well.

To leave the country you are meant to have permission from any parent who holds PR.. some airports as more lack about this than others.

pp* not op.

I went to my solicitor and asked her if she could help me with my divorce and she said she can help me with other things too. I simply ask everyone on here what that could be?

She probably means things like contact orders, financial separation order, division of property, updating your will, etc. If you want to know the specifics, you'll need to ask her!

Years ago, my cousin's husband left her when her DS was 2 years old. Refused contact. Refused to pay child support. He was "unemployed" for years, but was actually living with a woman that supported him. He never saw his son again. My cousin finally divorced him. When her solicitor asked her for a contact schedule, she said that her ex hadn't seen his son for years. The solicitor said he had to put something on the form and so my cousin said to put down an hour a year. When the ex got the divorce papers, his complained about the hour!

You are better off without him. Have a brilliant life with your DC.

Ok, so travel is a biggie (& honestly keeping your marital name won't make a huge amount of difference - I work abroad with my dc & get stopped & questioned regularly when departing the U.K., despite having kept my marital name for passport purposes). But you say you aren't currently worrying about that - fair enough.

Next thing, then, is him suddenly deciding he'd like to play Happy Families in oooh, I'm going to guess 2 years' time when he's got a new baby & his well meaning new dp or parents think it would be nice for the siblings to know each other.

There won't be a massive amount you can do to avoid this, even if you wanted to, & I'm sure you'd want whatever is best for your daughters. Whether being dropped & ignored, & then picked up again by their useless dad, is in your dc's interests, can get fraught.

All you can do is play it with a straight bat. Take the £7 CMS. Be clear that you are not obstructing contact, but that your dc's father has been absolutely clear that he is not willing to have any contact with his children. Document everything - emails, texts, whatever.

It's a bloody nightmare!

The solicitor said he had to put something on the form and so my cousin said to put down an hour a year. When the ex got the divorce papers, his complained about the hour!

The divorce petition has changed, you no longer need to include the proposed arrangements for contact, so don't worry about that.

To the person who said he can rescind PR - HE CAN'T. There is no legal way for a married father to do this (unless pursuant to an adoption or parenting order in a surrogacy). Only an unmarried father can have it removed. It's a nonsensical loophole in the law, but it's one of many.

I am divorced with 4 DCs. I do not have a residence order. Since 2010 I have travelled with them regularly. I have never once been asked for evidence of father's consent at an airport, and nor has their DF been asked for evidence of my consent. I used to have a DP with his own DCs, and he was never asked either. On two occasions my DCs travelled with a non-family member (their DF used to live abroad and a friend of his flew out with them to save me doing so or DF collecting them and they were too young to fly alone) - I wrote a precautionary letter confirming the third party had my consent to travel with them (and I've done similar letters for friends when their children have travelled with grandparents). I don't think they were ever asked to produce the letter.

Oh and you don’t need permission to apply for schools not sure where op got that from as it’s incorrect

If this refers to my first post, no you don't need formal permission to enrol DCs at a particular school. However, whoever has PR has the right to make important decisions and this includes things like choice of school. Where two people with PR disagree over the choice of school then there would have to be an application for a specific issue order for the court to decide. It's not uncommon. I did one last year, mother was moving further away and wanted the DCs at school nearer to her, but father had the children 50% and didn't agree so it went to court. The parents remained close enough to sustain the 50:50 arrangement but father's choice of school meant more driving for mother, and mother's choice meant more driving for father (and in my view would eventually have put the 50:50 arrangement at risk as the children grew older).

Thats fair enough. The dad in this situation doesn’t want contact though so it’s unlikely that he will disagree over schooling considering he doesn’t want to be in their lives

Ask him if you can have it in writing and when should you tell his children that he doesn't want to know them.
Ditto to dragging the divorce out for as long as possible, I wonder what the longest could be, is it 2 years?

I’ve got all the text messages where he has said he wants no contact with them and not to contact him again unless it’s an emergency .