Single mum life.....loneliness

[TwinkleMerrick]

Single mum for over a year. Ex walked out on DD and I when she was 7 months old. Gone through a lot of heart ache but found a place that we both seem to be comfortable with. He sees DD every other week. Comes to my house for a few hours. This won't change as he doesn't have the facilities or know how to look after her. I don't want to get back with him, even though he has realised the grass is not greener! I just feel trapped, I don't have any time to myself, I work full time and have some help off my parents (I know this is most than some). But I rarely get out the house unless it's for soft play or a food shop. I can't see myself ever meeting anyone new, even if I did would have massive trust issues. The fact I have to see my ex every couple of weeks just makes it worse. Half term has made me feel very lonely. I love my little girl so much but once she goes to bed it's just me and the cat. Also made worse that all my friends are married. I don't have any other single mums to talk to. I feel so isolated. Any advice from other single mums would be much appreciated xx

How old is your daughter? Can your parents have her sometimes so you can go out? Or friends?

She is almost 2, they do have her occasionally so I can go out. But I feel bad asking because they do so much for me in the week when I'm at work. I guess I just have to get on with it, hopefully it will get better xx

I totally hear you!

Is there a Gingerbread group near you? They are a single parents’ meet-up. There’s also Frolo - an app for single parent socialising & support.

Evenings are tough, when you’re just home alone feeling exhausted.

I’d try to plan daytime weekend activities that you like - going for a walk, or a gym class (some have crèches).

I find it’s so easy to just think about activities for them but actually it’s a great idea - and not always as impossible as it initially seems - to do stuff for yourself.

It will get easier - I think under 2 years old is so tough.

Have you ever tried a running club? If your pram is suitable, you could bring your little girl along and jog with the buggy? It would save having to get childcare but would also be a chance to get out and about and chat to others? It’s such a tough situation but it’s so so important you get that bit of time for you if you can doing things you like and getting that social interaction!

I looked at gingerbread but no groups near me. Not heard of the other groups so I'll check that out. I can't afford a gym and crèche, also non near me. There is a park run and I do have a decent pram, although I'm push for a breast reduction atm. Running is very difficult for me, but I could do a fast walk. Alll good advice thank u xx

One thing I realised when I was in your situation and DD was so young is that I was really spending my whole life trying to give her amazing days- softplay, library etc when actually she would've just gone along with stuff that would've given me a bit of sanity like coffee with a friend etc... It's great and important to be child centric but don't forget to do things you like to do too. It doesn't hurt them