Does anyone else still bed share with their DC's?

[flightattendant]

Ds has been in my bed since, well, his dad never did live with us so pretty much all his litle life - on and off, have tried to get used to own bed etc. but it never lasted very long though he did manage it.

He is just four and starts school next week. The trouble is he gets disturbed at night (doesn't wake but stirs) because Ds2 is only 3 months and also shares the bed!

I never thought of this till Ds2 arrived. he's not loud at night but does grumble or feed sometimes.

I couldn't chuck out Ds1 when pregnant as he was feeling bad already with me being ill, tired etc. and of course when new baby arrived would have been the worst time...

I love having them with me but worry about his sleep as he plays up more when tired (eg last 3 months...) and finds school a hard issue anyway.

Any ideas? Experiences? Does anyone have their kids in their bed or is it just me who can't seem to avoid it? (Ds2's dad never lived here either, when he stayed I carried Ds1 to his own bed once asleep, or we were just 'quiet' while he slept in the bed!)

I do and always have. Mine are older than yours. If it doesn't bother you then I think it is fine.

Bee, thanks for replying...how did you manage the little ones waking the bigger ones?

Um, I am quite strict about being quiet if you wake up and if one wakes up and is noisy I take them into their own / a different room. Both are quite sound sleepers though.

That sounds good. Can't really tell ds2 not to make baby sounds but I do tend to take him into other room if very noisy or unsettled.
I'm glad it's not just me as my Mum thinks it's unnatural!!!

you now I bet if you scratch the surface loads of people do it - musical beds is a staple in most of my friends houses too.

My ds still shares the bed with me, most nights. He starts off in his own but almost always wanders in around midnight - often I don't even notice until it's time to get up! He's 4. I have often thought that he "shouldn't" be in with me but frankly I'm too lazy to make an effort to change the situation And secretly I quite like it...

No advice on what you do when there's two of 'em, though...

I like it too Snaf - but sometimes wonder if I'm being selfish? I get scared of the dark without anyone there!

My ds does sometimes sneak into bed with me, but not as often as he used to - the difference is I now have my bed in his room! Would that help, if it is possible? Would Ds1 sleep in a seperate bed if it is the same room as you, maybe as a 'big boy'?

ds2 still likes to sneak in sometimes, i like it, he gives the best cuddles when i am ill, he sends me off to sleep

he is 6

DP and I co-sleep with DS2 (who's 2). DS1 (who's 4 and starting school next week - snap!) usually creeps in in the middle of the night and is always still there in the morning. Luckily, the DSs don't disturb each other. I recommend a superking bed, if you don't already have one. So long as you and your DCs are happy with the arrangement, it's no-one else's business.

I am Snaf's mirror image!!

Precisely the same circumstances except my ds is nearly 5

be warned. dd is 12 and still 'sleeps over' with me. ds did until he was about 4, tehn moved into his own room. dd is scared of her room - we got our windows broken when we moved in and she's

still a bit scared. i do hope when we move ( about a years time) she will get used to er own room again.

dd slept in her own bed, everynight until about 6 weeks ago, erm, it started when she was upset about stuff with her dad.

I kind if prided myslef on being firm for 4 yrs, about her sleeping in her own bed in her room, atho it was dificult and she always takes forever to get to sleep.

I told her that when she is back at school its back to her room. A bit harsh maybe?

She was cool last nite, but 2nite we have had mega upset/tears. wails of how lonely she is etc...

I lay down with her eventually till she went to sleep.

Not good really. but on the otherhand isit really a problem.

To op, I guess if its goingto get more disruptive as your second child get older, then it might be too much, if there is lack of sleep.

I'm feeling mean, here atm.

my daughter is two years old and she still sleeps with me but what i do is i put her in my bed and when she is sound asleep i move her into hers and she sleeps there all night.try that it works.

Ooh loving these tips, what worries me most ids if I ever find another man to share the bed with, and then they'll suddenly have to shift!!
Actually it'll probably end up being more like me and 'the man' shifting elsewhere. Don't fancy trying to shag in Ds1's bunks again

Pirategirl, know what you mean - I tried the firm approach a couple of years ago and in the end just gave up because although he did sleep, there were struggles every single night, and I didn't have the ability to stay awake...just exhausting for everyone and I did feel sad because often in the day I'm not really 'available' for him, and then to sleep separately at night seemed like we never got any time together to bond iyswim...

Now the baby is in between us mostly anyway but I don't think Ds1 is about to leave...!

Fa, like i said ds2 loves coming in for a snuggle up still, but weirdly, when my bf used to come and stay, he would always stay in his bed without any problem

there was never any discussion about it, he just knew he had to stay in his bed

My 7 year old DD shares my bed about 2-3 times a week - we have a little timetable and she looks forward to her nights with me (so do I). Her dad left a few months ago and it makes her feel more secure. As long as you love it, then I'd say don't worry about it at all.

My 7 year old DD shares my bed about 2-3 times a week - we have a little timetable and she looks forward to her nights with me (so do I). Her dad left a few months ago and it makes her feel more secure. As long as you love it, then I'd say don't worry about it at all.

Just wanted to agree with BBB - lots of us do it. My ds2 (now 4) goes to sleep in his own room, but slips into bed with me around midnight. I am quite happy with this - though I wish he didn't still wake at 6 am. Uuuggghhh!

FA - there was a lovely article in the La Leche League magazine about 5 years ago, about a lad who was breast fed until 5 and who co-slept with his mum until 7. It was written on the day he passed out as a Marine - just to show all the sceptics that it hadn't turned him into a 'softie'!! (If I remember rightly, when he was posted to Bosnia during the conflicts there, he gave some lectures on the value of co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding to local midwives too!)

If it works for you, go for it.

yes another one here, ds is 3 and has always shared my bed, even when his dad was here he always slept with one of us. dd has never done and thinks its gross!

i do put him back into his own bed around 10pm but by around midnight he has tiptoed back into my room.

my dds are 7 an 8....never an issue for me.....twas for friends and family though....'making a rod for my own back'...still love snuggling with them now.
Am a bit of a hobo in the night.

I'm late to this but would like thoughts. I think my son is probably the oldest one here who shares my bed. He is ten next month but this has only been a recent thing, bar the odd previous occasion when he'd had a nightmare or whatever.

It only started happening a couple of weeks ago after we went camping so I think it's partly that sharing a tent reminded him of the comfort that kind of situ offers and also partly because he is at a funny stage, he is suddenly spooked about his own vulnerability, despite my attempts at reassuring him, and it is almost like he has taken a step backwards in terms of his independence. He also spends half the time at his dads and I think it is also to make up for the fact that he doesn't see me as much as we would both like (but he still wants to see his dad so impossible situ). He changed his mind about walking to school on his own because of this also.

On the one hand I worry because on the face of it it seems wrong but then it does have all the hallmarks of a stage and I'm sure when the time is right he will hanker after his own space again.

My dsd was 10 in July and still sleeps with her mum. Her mum has tried to get her into her own room, but she just won't go even though she sleeps in her own room at our house! That put me off co-sleeping with ds...