AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH ANGER!!

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my ex is being a complete pain in the a*&$ about things refusing to give me money for the kids sayin he wil buy what they need then send it to us or give it them when he sees them which is not often at all. its messing my oldest daughters head up. as i have now decided not to let him see them until it is regular he is threatening to wait til the kids are older and tell them how bad i have been even though i have done the best i can do by them and havent said one bad word about him to the kids even as badly as he has treated us all. i have been thinking of going to a solicitor and getting them to write him a letter stating that i will never stop him from seeing the children as long as it is consistent etc but what would happen from there? would i have to go to court for access or anything?

he needs to be consistent well done for putting ur foot down! I was worried when my lil one was older i would get the blame, but im sure your kids will clearly be able to make their own min dup, so dont worry! Tell him he can tell them wht he likes you and evryone else know uve done a excellent job!

Its good to scare him with a letter, even though its meant it will show him tha you are serious, i may be doing tah with my ex aas he has consistency probs! Hopefully he will not let it get to acsess visits, but if that will kick his arse into gear, then maybe its a next step, if he is not co-operating! Its up to him to do his bit and to you to stand by what is best for the kids and u! hope that helps??? most prob doesnt"

Keep any solicitors letters/letters from your ex in a file. Continue to not bad mouth your ex in front of your children. If needs be, when they're old enough to understand they can see what happened for themselves and I'm sure will be able to make up their own minds about your ex. You sound like you are handling it well and they will know that they get consitency from you and not from him. Getting some legal advice would be a good step - try CAB or a family solicitor. I have kept all the awful letters and court documents from my ex-h for my DD. Obviously, I would prefer that she didn't read them as she will be hurt but if she asks about him, I want her to know the truth and not just my version of events so if needs be they are there for her to read and hopefully she will understand that I've done what's best for her.

hi to both of you, thats the reason i was thinking of getting solicitors letter sent to him, so the kids know everything, one thing i do wonder though is can solicitors tell other people ie csa i have contacted them? do the soicitors have to do what i tell them to do?

Not as far as I know, what with the Data Protection Act. My solicitor offered me an initial interview which cost £10 where she gave me advice on how best to deal with things. It was no obligation but I ended up using her for my divorce. Maybe it would be worth it to go to the CAB first or see if there's any solicitors who specialise in family law who could give you an initial interview. Hope you get sorted out soon.

thank you very much i think i may well do that i went to CAB about another issue and they gave me a list of solicitors that work all kids of things and there are a few in there that do family law so i will let you know what i decide to do and how i get on hope all is well with you all.