Joint custody and finances

[Survivor2019]

How do people split cost for the kids when they have joint custody?

My ex has asked for joint custody which I’m fine with as it’s in the kids best interests.
We both work full time, he’s self employed. He earns more than I do but not by miles.
As I’m a single parent I receive UC, which basically covers my childcare bill each month.
How would it work with paying for childcare, would he have to pay half even though I’m the one claiming it back through UC or should I be the one to foot the bill for childcare and just split costs for everything else they need?
Interested to hear how it works for other people.

For shared care, he should pay for his days and you pay for your days. You should only claim childcare from UC for your days.

But would that be seen as unfair that I can claim 85% of my childcare costs back and he cant?

I suppose you could work it out between yourselves.

Someone should correct me because I don't fully know, but I thought even in 50/50 one parent had to be the main parent for benefits etc. So based on that, I guess that parent would cover a little bit more?

Splitting everything down the middle sounds easier but is probably hard in reality, seems to me like it would be simpler to say "you cover x,y,z and i'll cover this, that and the other" and see how that goes. Reassess until it works.

If you get 85% back can you share the costs of the final 15%? Sounds like this works out better for you both.

I would foot the bill in your case, if things are amicable. The remaining amount that UC don't cover, I may ask him to pay towards depending on how much that actually was.

Can you say how much you both earn and what the childcare costs are, to help give a better idea of fairness?

He comes out with around £1920 a month and I come out with £1400.
This month I’m paying £1050 in childcare.

So it is actually quite a significant amount more that he earns. I would ask him to cover the remaining 15% and perhaps slightly higher costs towards joint things eg swimming lessons and clubs.

I don't think there is a simple way.

What would you get in UC if you had no childcare costs?

So basically you pay 158 towards childcare a month once the UC is taken off

I think the fairest way is for him to take that money and pay for all of the children’s activities for the month (swimming etc) and find things which cover that

That said you really need to check the benefit terms to see if you can otherwise you are both committing benefit fraud if you are truly having joint custody. In that case it’s 50/50.

I think you need to have an amicable chat about all of this and exactly what suits you all financially etc and the children and create the pattern from there

seeing as you get child benefit aswell i would pay the 85% and then share the remaining 15% left over.

Presumably you could get help towards your rent and things too?

Maybe you could ask him if he would be happy to pay the 15% first though?

Afterall if there were no tax credits or UC involved he'd be paying 500+ a month.

dont forget - UC only pay upto 649 for 1 child and just over 1k i think for 2?

so its 85 percent of upto 649, anything after that you have to pay in full

bear that in mind before your too nice!

This is so complicated! I’m half considering saying I’ll pay the childcare in term time but when it comes to school holidays if he needs them to go to the childminder during his days then he should pay for that? Does that sound reasonable?

Are those costs for 2 children? What are your costs term time and non term time?

How old is the youngest?

Youngest is 2.5 so in a years time will receive the 30 free hours.
Costa usually go down in the holidays slightly as I don’t need my 8 year old to go as I have people that can look after him if I can’t get the time off work but the youngest will go as normal if I can’t get the time off work