AIBU regarding ex and maintenance?

[Sallymads]

Hello all, first time poster..
Was just looking for a little insight into a current situation. I have a DD who is 8 to my ex. Me and her dad split up 6 years ago and he pays regular maintenance. My partner and I decided on a weeks holiday, as I haven’t been away in over 6 years by myself, except a nights break and I arranged with my ex for him to have DD for the week and we agreed on deducting the maintenance for that week. Anyway long story short I’ve returned and he’s deducted it 3 times as much, as he said he needed to pay for after school club, petrol money etc as well as the weekly amount he pays for day to day care. This is really bugging me for 3 reasons, one of which, apart from the maintenance he gives (which isn’t much imo), I pay for everything school related and have never asked for a contribution. Secondly, he has her on a Tuesday at the weekend usually because he didn’t want to pay any childcare for after school and is off weekends (I’m not happy with this arrangement as id like more time with her myself weekends) and lastly, he knows my mum is off weds-fri which she happily said she will collect her from school so she can see her herself and he didn’t bother arranging. I just find it very unfair and technically, it’s as if she’s paid for her own after school club etc. Thanks for reading

He should only be deducting the normal amount. If he gives you x amount per week, you have to pay for the extras, so when he has DD he should have to pay for the extras out of his own pocket.

If he took her to a zoo would he charge you for entry? What about if he ate out at a restaurant? Just because he isn't actually taking part in her after school stuff, doesn't really change that.

The only way i'd have sympathy is if it's some really expensive after school activity that he wasn't consulted on and didn't know the cost of, but even then it's a one time thing so he should just suck it up.

Maintenance is calculated at a rate based on the number of overnights per annum in pretty wide bands, so an extra few nights for half term won't make a difference. He should be paying as per normal. As RP you almost certainly pay a much greater % of costs anyway so he can suck it up for one bloody week.

Hes lucky you agreed to reduce it at all imo. Mind you, the only time my ex has had the DC for more than 1 night at a time he made me send sun cream and all toiletries for them even though he had other DC going ad well so would have had all that packed anyway. (And before anyone says that why he pays maintenance - he doesn't)