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Ds 15 understands how strong women are!

8 replies

everybodyshowlove2020 · 16/02/2020 14:31

So, I got pregnant with ds at 16. Married his dad and continue to have another ds. Relationship broke down and the years that followed were hell!
Court orders but not actually sticking to them because coke and alcohol and down time were important.
In 15 years he has only taken the ds's away to a UK holiday twice. Even though he goes away every year to parents villa.
He has been an absolute arse ache.

Anyway, recently I went to CMS because he wasn't paying enough and he was repeating the same pattern as before with the ds's. making and breaking promises, telling them how poor he was going to Thorpe Park, cinema and holiday with GF but not doing anything with the Ds's.

Well he kicked off, I was award £800, re got it changed after going back to them to £390. 5 months I've still no payment ( CMS said 8 weeks lol)

Well the point of the post is that I have bite my tongue so much over the years, made excuses for him so the ds's didn't feel unloved, I have never stopped the contact, I even text him to let him know the ds's are unwell so he can text them.

So Ds 15 has been making jokes ( not funny) that it's only 9 months until he will be having his baby. I told him straight that if you did make such a choice ( I know full well he won't) that you will support your lo, you will have regular contact and pay support.

His reply was ' I know mum you wouldn't let me be that guy, you would never let me away with not taking responsibility'
But that's is one thing I learnt from dad, how to go about not supporting your kids'

I was shocked. That he had come to see it on his own.

I said ' wow sweetie.

He said ' I do not know how mothers do it but I thank for you do!

I know it's a long post but I just wanted to let people know that the truth and all those night you get know sleep are noticed.

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 16/02/2020 14:57

Aww that made my eyes leak ... you have done a fantastic job be proud.

Lllot5 · 16/02/2020 15:00

That’s a fantastic story. Hopefully it will bring comfort to those single mums who wonder every day if they are doing the right thing. Don’t suppose your son wants flowers or wine. Will he like teaBrew and Cake

everybodyshowlove2020 · 16/02/2020 15:08

@Lllot5 funny thing is we were at the drive thru McDonald's when he said it and ordered a Tea and apple pie Grin

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 16/02/2020 15:29

I knew he was a good un

dustibooks · 16/02/2020 15:33

Now there's a son to be proud of Smile

StrawberryJam200 · 16/02/2020 15:37

Well done. My dd is beginning to get it but my ds has some way to go......

everybodyshowlove2020 · 16/02/2020 19:34

It was never easy and it's still not because he say things I know must hurt.
But I am so proud of him and my other ds is just chilled.

This was always my worse fear, for my dc to not have a great supportive df, but as times gone on I am creating two strong men.

I just hope this helps some other because from the age of 4-10 I at times thought it was never going to stop and he would get away with letting them down but they are happy dc

OP posts:
Glovesick · 22/02/2020 07:51

Well done OP you have done a fab job with your ds.

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