Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

CSA from ex

4 replies

NotExactly9 · 09/02/2020 19:53

So I’m getting worried just yet as I’m only 5 months pregnant but I’m got huge red flags all over this. So we aren’t together anymore, really unfortunate. But the biggest part of that reason is that he didn’t tell me he had a random one night stand with a stranger months before we got together, she got pregnant, wanted to keep it. Turned out to be twins and they are now 2. Things were beginning to get strained between us and then I fell pregnant and he told me that news, which I tried to deal with but just couldn’t so we split, kind of amicably.

Thing is,he told me he’d fudged his income or split it out or something into different accounts/companies so that she couldn’t claim what she was due. I was really uncomfortable with that but didn’t want to get involved, I just remember him telling me. He’s self employed, owns a few businesses so I imagine he knows what to do to give false financial info.

I just worry massively about going to do with me too, I consider us still friends and stuff, I haven’t a proble, with access or anything once the baby is here but I’m bloody petrified he’s going to do it to me too...I said to him jokingly don’t do that with me, please, I feel sorry enough for her! And he said ‘no it won’t we will never split up’ famous last words...

Any thoughts/ideas on what I can do to get organised on this quickly so I’m ready for worst case??

OP posts:
carly2803 · 09/02/2020 20:48

ask him nicely now for money weekly "when the baby arrives". WHile your on good terms.

CSA are shite, and with him self employed you wont see anything (sorry)!

try squeeze things out of him now, so like cot, pram etc half before it turns to shit

also give baby your last name (do not waver fromthis you are NOT together)!

carly2803 · 09/02/2020 20:48

ask him nicely now for money weekly "when the baby arrives". WHile your on good terms.

CSA are shite, and with him self employed you wont see anything (sorry)!

try squeeze things out of him now, so like cot, pram etc half before it turns to shit

also give baby your last name (do not waver fromthis you are NOT together)!

Chocchoc88 · 14/02/2020 19:01

Just bumping this up, I’ve done a name change since.

@carly2803 I’m not sure how that will go down, he could say it’s too early to buy things like that, or anything.

Is this really the answer to the whole self employed thing then? I suppose I just need to rely on his decency/moral compass?

unicornsarereal72 · 15/02/2020 07:53

@Chocchoc88 yes I'm afraid so. My children's father is a contractor so is self employed and also gets a disability pension. He earns over £60k a year I guess. I have had 1 months money from him in 2 years.

Cms have no way of tracing his money. As he doesn't/hasn't paid tax on it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread