Anyone have experience of getting a residency order

[unicornsarereal72]

Evening all. Just wondered about residency orders. And What experience people have had of them.

My ex has got more and more flaky over the past year. The last two eow he has just not turned up. No messages nothing. This has been the pattern for a while. The emotional fall out for the children is taking its toll on all of us. Previously to this irrational pattern over the last 8 months we had a routine of eow.

I know I can't make him have contact. What I would like to achieve is that this is the children's residency. And he can have contact once a month. So the emotional impact upon the children is then reduced.

Hi op. It's rubbish isn't it.

I ended up with a residency order by accident after dickhead ex refused to allow me to take the kids on holiday - the judge issued it so I wouldn't have to apply for a specific issues order again.

In your situation I think s residency order would clarify where the children live so you don't have to ask permission to take them on holiday.

AFAIK it doesn't specify when he will see the kids - no judge can force an uninterested parent to see their kids.

I've been where you are op. My kids went from every other weekend to now just a couple of visits a year. I spent a lot of years getting angry at ex for letting the kids down and leaving me to pick up the pieces. We all had counselling to deal with his shit. Try turning it round - tell the kids you don't know when daddy will see them again. Have a plan B every time. Stick to it, if he's late be out.

I've never refused contact and I believe if you try to restrict his contact he'll use that against you in every way possible for ever. My ex has never, ever requested more contact, he didn't contest the residence order.

The kids will work it out op. Keep plodding on.

Thank you for the reply @Stronger76

Yes that was a concern about taking them away. And not to be dramatic but if he had the kids and refused to return them at some point with the residency order I believe It means the children have to be returned home?

No I know he can't be forced to step up. And I'm happy to go with the flow. As you say just sad for the children and how this will impact them moving forward.