Hello!!!! First time posting here :)

[Starlight84]

Hi all. I had my son 4 weeks ago today. His dad didn’t want to know from around 10 weeks of pregnancy. I had a c section and I sent him a pic while I was in recovery. He had read and ignored everything. I messaged this eve saying I need closure and I need to see you say you want nothing to go with him. He said will speak over the weekend. I hate I still love him. He’s said some awful things during my pregnancy. And he’s not ever once asked about him after. I messaged him asking if there was any hearing loss/problems in his family as our son is deaf in his left ear and he couldn’t even write me a yes or no! I’m just not sure how I can move forward!! He’s been awful and my family/ close friends just think he’s horrible for how he’s gone about things. I hate that I still love him as well. It’s so hard xx

Sadly you can’t force someone to be a decent father. At the moment it must be very hard for you to think straight with tiredness and hormones swirling around. You will get over him and see him for the useless lump he is. In the meantime take care of yourself and the baby and lean on friends and family. Do apply to cms. As you have not seen him, I assume he is not on the birth certificate. This does not absolve him of financial responsibility to his child.

No he’s not on the birth certificate. Made sure if that! Xx

I guess one way to look at it is if a woman didn't want a child she could deal with that early on (in most places) but for the man he doesn't have a choice.

Some men don't want children and mistakes happen to everyone.

I don't understand how you can not love your child and not want to be there as much as possible but I guess that's why some people are adamant they don't want to get involved early on so they don't make that connection?

Either way though there's not much you can do, he needs to come to terms with the fact that he's a father whether he likes it or not and some men do straight away, some men take a while and some men never want to be a part of their childs life.

All you can do is keep the door open and make sure DC is hurt as little as possible over the years.

Exactly. I’ve printed off some pics of me and his dad when we were together and put them in his memory box because questions will come in years to come. Despite how he’s acted I won’t ever speak bad of him to our son and I will tell him that I did love his daddy very much.

His dad messed me about so much at the start. He wanted the baby then he didn’t then he did. This went on for ages until I couldn’t take any more.

I guess I’ll just see what happens over time but I won’t have any messing about from his dad. Xx

That sounds so hard, @Starlight84.
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Sorry your going through this im 28 weeks pregnant and my ex wants nothing to do with his daughter he told me so at 12 weeks the same time I found out he had a girlfriend of 3 years and they have been trying for 2 years I've never contacted him since way I see it it's his loss but as someone else has said if it was the other way round then I would have taken care of it but it was my choice to keep her knowing it would be as a single parent he's told all his family but told them if they have any involvement he will be out of their life. You can't make anyone be a parent and a child deserves 100% love not just someone popping in and out of their life cos there made too it will get easier in time just concentrate on you and your child and leave him to his choice no matter how hard that is xx

Thanks @Mummylanie3. He’s told no one about our son. Apart from his son at the time and he didn’t take the news well so he didn’t tell his other two children. I’m just going to crack on as I have been. I’m coping very well actually! Xx