Upping CMS for older child?

[namechangenumber2]

Hi all

Hope it's ok for me to post here, I'm not a lone parent but am separated from my eldest's dad and this is about his maintenance.

DS1 is 16, he sees his Dad one weekend a month. It's recently dropped from EOW to factor in revising for exams/ wanting to spend time with friends etc. Ex suggested it.

Ex pays minimum CMS - in fact I'm not sure he's currently paying as much as he should but he's become self employed so the last CMS letter said they couldn't calculate what he was to pay?! Anyway, it's a little bit but doesn't go far when dealing with a 16 year old! There is no extra, no uniform money, no odd bits of pocket money for DS. The CMS money gets put into a separate account to our finances and spent on DS when needed.

Now onto my question - DS is now 16 and would like a job. Just a little one to fit around school etc. He's very keen to learn to drive in November and aware of those costs.

We've been looking for a job since his birthday and failed to find anything that doesn't involve him having to do weekend hours. He can't do anything the weekend he sees his dad- he isn't local.

Would I be unreasonable to ask his Dad to increase the maintenance to factor in that DS isn't able to find a job due to the circumstances? Those of you who had children of this age, how did you manage it? Do I just suck it up?

Forgot to add- we do give him pocket money etc, I'm not expecting his Dad to pay for everything! However I'm not in the position to be able to increase what we give and certainly can't afford to fund all driving lessons etc

How un local is his dad? Maybe he has grown out of the arrangement that he needs to go to his dad for a full weekend regularly now, there must be a time when it just holds him back to be the one who always goes there. Could he have a word with his dad and ask if dad could come to him every other Sunday and he could go to his dad every other Sunday or something like that? At 16 he can't limit his own experiences because his parents aren't together. If he learns to drive he could see his dad in frequent smaller visits easier too.

And yes it's not a big ask to ask the ex to contribute to driving lessons given he only pays the minimum (or possibly not even) in maintenance.

Thanks @Anotheruser02 . His Dad is about 1.5hrs away. I agree, I think it's time to move on with contact, will have a chat with DS

Yes to ask for help for driving lessons, no to ask for the maintenance to go up because DS cannot find a job.

I agree, however, that by 16 he may have outgrown the current contact arrangement, and is good of dad to recognise that and give him the space he needs.