Closed CMS Case. Written off arrears

[Pisces90]

I did it today. I don't know how to feel about it. He has minimum contact and is not in our childs life properly. I think i have got used to doing it alone. I have the mindset that i can scrape by without his contribution. Our child is still small so it will be a long road ahead. I just hope when she is grown up i come out of it feeling proud and not bitter about doing it alone. I know it was me that chose to close the case but it was soul destroying dealing with CMS and the feeling that he doesn't want to contribute.

Anyone else done the same?

I haven’t closed a case because I never opened one. My DS father has never even met him, so makes no contribution whatsoever to his life. For me, doing it alone was always a given - I wouldn’t want his money anyway.
That being said I can cope financially on my own, so I suppose if you’re struggling it may be harder not to resent your ex. In the longer run though I’m sure you will feel proud of yourself and liberated too as if you’re relying on the money that may or may not ever come, then he still has an influence over your life. Being completely free of him is probably much better.

I feel for you. I'm thinking of going through cms at the moment as I get the feeling my child's dad hates having to contribute too and id rather not have to discuss money with him. I'm luckier than you in this situation though as he does actually pay ( with a lot of pushing from me ). Honestly you will feel proud of yourself that you can do it alone and your child will see it for herself the older she gets.

This is something I’ve been debating. I have a cms case open but my ex has never paid a penny, it’s been 3 years and I’ve never had a single payment. I sometimes feel like closing it as what’s the point, he has nothing to do with them either. But I haven’t closed it. I don’t know what to do for the best tbh.

I've never dealt with CMS but how can it be the case that you can have a case open for years and never see a penny? Are they that bad?

@Anotheruser02 my mum still has an open case against my dad for around £13,000. The youngest of us is 27! So this has been going on for at least 10/15 years. He refused to pay and flitted from cash in hand job to agency work so that he never had to pay it. It's a debt that I doubt will ever be cleared

My ex doesn’t work or claim benefits that’s why I haven’t got a penny. There are no consequences for not paying maintenance.