How did your child cope?

[Mumofone87]

Not really sure where to post but looking for some advice.

Currently in the midst of separating with my husband. He’ll be moving out in the next month or so, logically I feel prepared for what’s about to come - in terms of finances, co-parenting etc but I am worried about how my DS will cope. He is 2.5 years old and it’s all he’s known. He is very much a mummy’s boy but does ask for dad etc.

I am preparing myself for how it will be to not have him at my side, when he goes to his dads overnight, but I’m worried about how will he cope? I don’t want him being upset and want it to be as easy for him as possible.

If you’ve gone through the same, how did you child cope? Is there anything I can do to make it easier for him?

My own parents split when I was around 14 and it was awful. One thing I’m determined not to do, is act how they did, and my husband, ex-husband, is on the same page.

Younger children find it easier to deal with the change. He may be a bit upset on the first nights away, but it is worth persevering and not reading too much into it. If your soon to be ex is a reliable parent you need to focus on that.

We tried not to make much drama out of telling DS, just said that dad was moving out to a new house, where he will also have a bedroom (with a bunkbed of all things!)and more toys. We said that it would be like going in a little holiday with dad every second weekend. We also ensured DS spent the first night after the split with his dad, we didn’t want him to feel as if he had been left behind.

It worked beautifully, really. At some point I notice he resented coming back to my house and obviously, I started overanalysing EVERYTHING, turned out he was missing the bunkbed (the bunkbed!) at his dad’s house.

Mine were 4 and 7 when my ex and I split. The 4 year old didn't register it initially. When she realised that moving out meant forever she had some serious outbursts of anger and fear that I'd leave too.
After a few months she settled and now loves going to her dads. Last time I sent them the 6 year old was relieved.
It's also created a better relationship with their dad because I'm no longer picking up his parenting slack.

DD was 2 when we split and totally attached to me as her dad had been working away for months before she was born. I think he had a couple of hard visits but she settled into her routine quickly and to her now, it's just normal that we're not together