I can't just take myself off to bed

[TheOrigRightsofwomen]

Told my friend I was tired.
She said I should go to bed at 8pm with a good book.
Clearly not taking into account my 10 year old that needs to be shuffled off to bed and then the housework to do.

Obv if I was ill in bed my son would be ok, but it's not really on to just take to my bed otherwise.

Ah...the small things.

Oh and a whatapp notification from a different friend saying she's already in bed.

Phone away, radio on I think!

i hear you!

when i am sick, and just want to snuggle in bed, i cant! kids need looking after - being single sometimes sucks!

Mine are a lot younger than yours and cannot be "left" to their own devices!

Make it 9.00 o'clock then. A 9 yo should be in bed by then anyway, and skip the housework for once.

He's 10 nearly 11 and needs me, and I can't just not wash up and tidy up and sort laundry, it'll all be there tomorrow morning.

It’s surely not beyond the realms of possibility for your son to be in his room for the night reading or playing quietly and for you to go to bed at 8pm if you’re tired every now and again ??!!

I try and get everything done by 8.30 just so I can have some space and time to myself.

I'd get really stressed if I was still doing laundry etc at 9pm. Isn't there any way you can rejig your evenings? Maybe an earlier meal so all the washing ups done etc.

Get your Ds to help more.

Yes that’s May take longer initially but will save time long term. Also 9/10 year old doesn’t need entertain .

It is bloody hard work though and thankless

I hear you... it really sucks when you feel ill / tired and there are 1001 things to do.
The good news is: all the housework will be still there tomorrow - so do it tomorrow.
Nothing bad will happen. Your son can have an early night, that won't hurt him. And you can go bed for your well earned rest.
I also second teaching DS to do some housework - it's really just basic life skills. I suffer from migraines and have taught my kids what needs to be done when I am off the grid. We have a few animals that need some care as well as basic housework like washing up. Kids from the age of 7-8 are able to do some basic tasks without supervision.

Of course I COULD be in bed by 8pm - I didn't say it was impossible, was just having a moan (with other people who I thought would understand) that people who don't walk in our shoes just don't get it.

I'm not looking for solutions.

I work. Collected DS and home just after 6pm. Dinner. I had a shower as I'd been for a run earlier, then did some tidying and then spent time with DS. Sure, I could do all the housework while he plays, but I'd get no time with him then. He's shuffled off to childcare and holiday clubs enough as it is.
He does do housework - tidying his own stuff by default but other things as well.

He's very demanding emotionally atm due to a difficult relationship with his dad. I need to be there for him.

We do ok.

What's your house like? Can he sit in the kitchen while you do things there? Can you potter about in the living room while he's in there? Can you both get into your bed and read and chat for an hour or two?

Oh yes, there's plenty of me pottering while he's chatting or playing. However it's all too easy for the whole evening to get swept away so I like to down everything and give all my focus to him.
Whether that's watching telly together, playing X-box, board games, colouring or obviously at the park when the weather's nice.

Really, I was just having a moan.

It is what it is and I am fortunate that my work allows me the flexibility to do my sport during the working/school day - w/o that I really would be quite bananas!

It's shit. It's just another form of being trapped. I go to bed early (I have teens) and I can't sleep because I hear them shouting at each other, or the x-box, or singing, or playing music really loudly. Just for once it would be nice to come first and go to bed and not care. But I would suggest you get up 20mins early and do your chores tomorrow. Hope you're in bed now OP.

I hear you. Lone parent too, and occasionally I might indulge in the odd moan about being a bit lonely.
The number of people that tell me to go to evening classes, or the gym, or meet up with school mums. Erm... And who's going to look after my two primary aged kids while I'm doing all this?

Yeah, once in a while I could get a sitter, but no, I can't just do whatever in the evening

(I know it's not exactly the same, but I think the resulting frustration is similar)

.... or meet up with school mums

I mean for drinks. Obv I can meet up with school mums after school. Oh it's late, I've only just got to bed.

I have a 20 yo as well (he's away at uni) so when he's home everything changes! The lad has a life of his own (goddamnit!) but is happy to mind his bro so I can plan a few evenings out.
He's very, very quiet when he creeps in late at night (on pain of death).

I already do get up earlier than I need to so I can make a cuppa and sit in bed and drink it before the day starts.

No, I am not in bed. All jobs done and I'm a night owl and the house is quiet and lovely and I'm enjoying it.