not sure this is much to do with lone parents but....now i have been asked on a date and said yes and not yet decided to back out

[zippitippitoes]

...and i have to make a decision whether to go out in warwick or the west end

...I don't actually have any going out clothes and only trainers and a pair of yuk bootie footgloves i once wore to a civil service interview as an immigration officer

I don;t like the overnight bag - I don't like it one bit. Well unless that is what you want, but if it isn;t he seems to be spelling out quite clearly what he expects. Would reply and say you are staying elsewhere does he still wnat to meet.

The bit where he says 'needs to be able to handle that aspect of my life' does imply he is after more than just a one night stand though.

You could say

'i'm sure you're apartment is lovely - but i'm going to combine this trip with seeing an old friend and will stay at hers this time - after all, you could turn out to be a total weirdo! hahaha'

YES! do boco's one that is good - mine implies he is a perverted rapist.

I like Boco's response!

this is actually the fourth such invite I've had now...nobody seems to want lunch

i was going to suggest he might be boris karloff

unfortunately i don't think i am going to be able to find someone to actually stay with

he might change his mind when he sees me for goodness sake

do you want to stay with him?
might it be good for you?

I can't suggest he is a weirdo

st johns wood is that respectable anyway?

but you're not really calling him a weirdo, you'd just be being flippant, but in a way that lets him know you're being cautious.

But you didn't say. - What do you want from this?

I'd find this hard - i'm swinging between a liberated go for it, why not, have a one night stand - have fun, it's 2007, you're single, rah! - and being all, oh, but he might be a pervert or very dull and you must be careful and have body guards. I'd be very bad at dating again, it seems complex.

I would feel uncomfortable about the "overnight bag" comment - it seems a bit too suggestive seen as you haven't even met yet.

He said he would come your way if you wanted, didn't he? That may be the best plan.

i've left him in the pc until tomorrow..all these blokes seem to want instant sex...doesn't seem to matter if they meet you first

i shan't stay in his apartment..i might see if i can stay with my sister but i haven't seen her for ages and she might disapprove anyway..i haven't actually told her dp left yet and it's beemn two months

Unless you're a feisty girl who's had a few one night stands (and therefore has good wierdo-detecting skills) then do NOT agree to spend the night with this man before you've actually met him. He might be charming, he might be very boring, or he might just be the sort whose last seven internet dates are now in his cellar minus their heads.

The absolutely unbreakable rule of dating people you meet off the net or through personal ads of any kind (or even, if you're the shy and diffident type, someone you met at a party and gave your phone number to) is this: you meet, for the first time, in a public place from which you can get home easily and safely and you tell soomeone where you are going. If you feel uneasy with someone when you are in a public place, with all your clothes on, then you want to make very sure you don't go to a less public place and remove any clothes.

Of course, he might be luuuuurvely and you might have a fab time. But you don't want to be stuck with a bore who wants to tell you all about his tiddlywinks championship or 50 favourite golf courses, with no means of escape, either.
Still, have fun, whichever way it turns out. If he's rubbish, you will at least have a good dating horror story to amuse the next one with

good advice!