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Ex being a prat about finances.

5 replies

Madmilkmaid · 15/01/2020 16:13

Sorry this may be a long one but I'm so angry and need to rant.

ExH didn't pay a penny in maintenance for 11 months when we split up. Not in uk so no cms here, would need money to take him to court and I had no money. After the 11 months he agreed to pay but it was half of what he should have been paying. I agreed to this as it was better than nothing.

Since then he has only paid the full agreed amount twice. Every single week he says it's all he can afford, hes skint etc.
Over the last few months though he has joined 2 gyms, taken gf of a few weeks away for a city break, got finance on a new car all whilst not providing for his DC as " he has no money".

I have also found out he borrowed a reasonable
amount of money from a family member of mine and has since stopped making repayments to them because he is skint.

The icing on the cake is that yesterday I received a letter from the phone company who provide our broadband saying I owe over £300. We kept this bill in both names and DD coming out of his account when he moved out and I gave him cash on a weekly basis to cover it. Having contacted them they have said that they havent received a payment since August!

So hes been not only been living it up instead of giving me full maintenance payments but has also been pocketing the money I've been giving him to cover this bill. I'm livid and it's in both our names and I'm going to have to somehow find the money to pay it.

He says it's a mistake etc their end but I know it's not. Him lying about money was one of the reasons we split. I'm very tempted to tell him to if he can afford a new car etc then I'm not accepting anything less than the full amount of maintenance we agreed with and I want the £1200 he should have been paying and hasnt. He can get rid of the gym membership and new car etc and pay me.

I just dont know what to say when he says "but I cant afford it" as usual. I cant make him pay and cant afford to go to court in the near future. I suspect there are a few reasons why money has always disappeared (even when we where together) but cant prove any of it.

Anybody have any clue how I can get him to just man up and put his DC first financially?
Or do I just tell him not to bother, enjoy his life and I will manage on my own?

Sorry that was really long!

OP posts:
carly2803 · 15/01/2020 20:31

why on earth would you give him money when he isnt payingi for your DD?

by all means, tell him you want the full payment, he probably wont pay. But ffs stop giving him money!

you cannot force him unless you go to court

doritosdip · 16/01/2020 12:01

He's not going to magically man up. He's counting on you not going to court.

With regards to the broadband bill and loan is there an equivalent to small claims court? It's fairly cheap and you won't need a lawyer.

The crappy exes always claim that they can't afford child maintenance or that they haven't got time to have the kids more. He'll be telling other people that you're bleeding him dry- it's such a stereotypical scumbag position to take.

kitk · 17/01/2020 19:57

I think you might be screwed with the broadband bill but if he lives in a Hague convention country I think court is just a case of filling in a form and the judge will rubber stamp it. Won't be free but likely less than £100

kitk · 17/01/2020 20:04

Sorry, meant from a maintenance POV

TriangleBingoBongo · 17/01/2020 20:11

It’s all very well saying that but how will you make him pay?

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