CAFCASS

[Jenson0516]

Hi there,
I’ve joined here to see if any fellow mums could help me or give me ideas to prove that my ex’s outrageous claims to CAFCASS are completely fictitious and highly malicious. To cut a long story short my ex was very controlling and abusive during our 5 year relationship. When we split, he took our children one weekend and refused to return them. I applied for a child arrangement order and we had the first hearing on Wednesday. During which, I spoke to a CAFCASS officer alongside my solicitor. The CAFCASS officer stated that my ex partner had told her i was a alcoholic, a cocaine addict and (my favourite) a prostitute who has men coming from my house constantly. There is also apparently a page with my photos on a prostitution website.

I am currently training to be a midwife, I haven’t touched cocaine (other than a small dabble about 10 years ago, well before I had any children) and I am most certainly NOT a sex worker. I’m absolutely heartbroken by such claims and even more so that CAFCASS have recommended to the court that I am allowed contact for an hour a week in a contact centre for 14 weeks whilst a report is made to verify or reject the allegations.

Has anyone been in a similar position? I feel so alone and down about it all, also I’d really appreciate if anyone could help me come up with ways of proving I’m not a prostitute; I’ve ordered a camera for outside my front door to prove I don’t have any Male visitors, I’ll be printing off my bank statements too but I just want to cover all aspects to prove that this is totally malicious. Any advice or stories of similar would really help, thank you so much in advance
J x

Where are the dc now op?

With their father. He hasn’t let me see them since November whilst waiting for the hearing. X

How utterly vile for you, I'm going through a very complicated legal process myself so aware of Cafcass etc it's horrible feeling like you have to defend yourself

In my experience the truth will speak for itself, if these allegations have no foundation ie evidence, you have nothing to worry about

I know this doesn't ease the stress but all I can advise is to co operate and the truth will out - all will be well, don't worry, and don't let him drag you down

Have you spoken to ss?

So, so sorry that you're going through this. Importantly, you know the truth and those who know you know the truth. I can only imagine how blown your mind is that someone can do this to you and that it is the father of your child. You're not alone - I've been through similar from my ex - and you will recover from this.

Please get all the legal support that you can to ensure that everything is presented properly and nothing is brushed over. Unfortunately, in my experience, CAFCASS are totally incompetent, don't check facts and accept malicious claims as 'disputed' (if you're lucky) but not 'untrue' regardless of actual evidence that they're untrue. So, my advice: go through everything with a fine tooth comb and challenge everything that is untrue and anything that CAFCASS handles incorrectly. It's exhausting having to defend yourself when you just want everyone to focus on your child's needs, but you must do it. And, chase up everyone to make sure that they have all the most recent and correct information.

(I only recently discovered that, after similarly ridiculous reports about me to the police by ex, SS had been notified but not subsequently updated by the police about things. And then, a year or so later, CAFCASS referred to the fact that SS had been notified by police which, along with ex's further lies about me, was pretty damning... )

Just make sure that everyone has all the correct information - you shouldn't have to but you do.

Good luck!

This is awful, my ex told caffcass I drink and take cocaine daily, there reply was well why have you not reported her and allowed her to raise your child. I would demand they do a drugs test and also ask to see this photo on the site as anyone can add a photo but you need this investigating to the point of which computer the profile was made, lots you can do here , show caffcass and court your been pro-active and prove your innocence. Really hope you get your babies back 😢