Can I ask if I’m being unreasonable?
I got a new 9-5 job, so asked my ex to collect kids (8 and 5) every Friday eve from school - they finish 4:45, which should fit in around various work patterns (he is usually out of work but if he was working, he is in construction which usually finishes around 4pm Friday). He can bring them home to mine and I’ll be back 6pm or he can take them back to his if it’s his weekend as he usually has them EOW.
I know this is unlikely to ever happen, though I simply don’t understand why he doesn’t think it’s his responsibility to care for the kids too, but I thought it was worth a try seeing as it would suit me and the kids. He has never been flexible and seems still angry with me for leaving 5 years ago.
He has got very cross saying that this is what suits me now I have a new job, I only ask him when I need something etc and sworn at me/hung up phone.
I have been dropping kids off after school at his eow on Friday eve and he brings them home Sunday. It’s a 2 hour round trip and costs about £11 on train.
Do you think it’s ok to say he can see the kids whenever he wants, but he will have to collect them and that I won’t be travelling to bring them back home either, and stick to this going forward?
This is likely to result in a reasonably long period of him not seeing kids, while he decides what to do. They will be upset and I’ll have kids all the time (won’t have my eow of catching up with chores, friends and sleep). It feels a bit manipulative. Having said that I feel I go out of my way to encourage their relationship and given I work full time and do all drops and collects from school he should pull his weight more.