Straw that broke the camel’s back

[Sotiredofthislife]

I have brought up 3 children for the last 10 years with an adversarial ex who pays no maintenance. I have retrained, worked full time and paid for speech therapy for 2 children, tutoring for the theird with dyslexia and finally took a backwards step a few years ago to manage my mum with dementia. I still work full time, just across a variety of settings with less exam responsibilities (I teach) and some supply which means I am busy. My eldest supports me by picking up the youngest one day a week.

I lost my mum earlier this year in traumatic circumstances which required an inquest and am still considering whether legal action should be taken against the home. And now my youngest has received a life changing diagnosis and I feel I am standing on the very, very edge of a huge hole and there is nothing at all left to stop me falling in. I don’t know how to cope any more. It is too much for one person. Please help.

You have a lot on your plate but you are getting there, you've raised children and have been there for them and continue to do so.

You need to find the joy in the little things and give yourself a break, do you ever get time to yourself?

Are you talking to legal professionals about the home yet? I am sorry to hear of your mums passing and that it was so awful. Have you spoken to anyone about her passing? Grievance counsellor for example?

With all of this you need to also take care of yourself too.

I can hear your despair and totally understand that feeling.

But you know you’ve been on the edge before and pulled yourself through, and you’ll do it again. Because you can.

But...be kind to yourself, retain your humour, don’t take it personally, remember life is a series of ups and downs and generally is a struggle, and get lots of sleep.

You’ve got this. Day at a time.

Thank you. Sleep is a massive problem as I have to monitor my child’s condition throughout the night. No counselling. I don’t have the time. I am at work constantly but perhaps need to cut back. The financial side of things is overwhelming although we are now eligible for DLA so that might help. It just feels one problem too many and not one I can properly deal with. So alone with it all.

OP I’m late to this but wanted to check in and see how things are going? You sound like an amazing mum who has done an amazing job, through very difficult times.

You are doing great at keeping going.

Make time for counselling. You say you don't have time, but long term you don't have time not to get counselling. It will give you the strength to get through this.