Hi, im new here, been considering my options recently and could really do with some unbiased input. Pre-warning... this has turned out ridiculously long, so I apologise! Huge thanks to anyone who reads through it all!
We moved from the west coast of scotland to a scottish Island in 2012 for my partners job with ds 7, dd 4 and ds 9months at the time. We had our youngest dd in 2014 however our relationship ended in 2016 and he moved back to the mainland and hasnt seen his kids since.
I stayed put as the island is my kids home, its what they know. I struggled to manage though and made a rather hasty decision to move close to my mum (not my hometown) which didnt work out at all - i felt more isolated and the area was rough, my kids hated it and wouldn't leave the house, it was an hours drive just to a town and 2 hours to most of the things we would want to do as a family, so it was just miserable. We moved back to the island in 2017 and have been here since.
Living costs are so expensive here, I manage, but theres little room for manoeuvre. It costs us £55 for a return ferry ticket for us, then about an hours drive to family/stuff to do etc. boats are unreliable in winter and fully booked weeks in advance in summer, so we never go anywhere really.
I cant help but feel fed up... i am grateful to live in such a beautiful place, but feel i need a change.
Its great in summer when the weather is good enough to chill on the beach, but apart from walks and eating out (at tourist prices) there’s nothing to do. I want to take my kids climbing, go on day trips, pop by and see family just for the afternoon or grab a coffee with my sister/niece/mum/cousins etc.
Ive tried to make myself love it here, but i dont. Living costs are so expensive, jobs are low pay and mostly seasonal or shift patterns i cant manage due to lack of childcare.
I own a house near my hometown where we lived before moving to the island. I have been considering the possibility of moving back in to it when the current tenants move out (expected to be around summer time).
I dont think my life will be magically wonderful if i move back, i dont really like my hometown tbh... but i have friends there and family close by. Having sat on rightmove looking at houses for sale/rent within my budget, I cant see anywhere thats any better though! And im not sure I could manage moving to a new area on my own (Buying on the island isnt an option -too expensive!)
My plan was to fix up and sell my house when the tenants move out and hopefully buy a city flat to run as an Airbnb and use for us to be able to access mainland easier. This will involve me saving quite a bit over the next few months (the house needs a bit spent to get up to sale standard) - which will be tough! The house is owned outright, so if i lived in it i would have no rent to pay... the running costs are about 1/3 of where i currently live. Plus the cheaper living costs of mainland living (cheaper shops and fuel etc), i cant help but feel we will be better off! We could afford to do things as a family and i could fix the house up.
Also, I currntly work self employed part time as i am a carer for my ASD daughter. So, although I work, I depend heavily on tax credits... im not entitled to any other benefits (rent/income support etc) as i own the house, which is fair enough! But once I am made to transfer to universal credits, owning the house will mean that I am not entitled to anything other than child benefit and possibly carers allowance. I could survive on the island IF i found a full-time job that paid over 22k... but that is going to be problematic as my dd is often off school, i have various meetings to attend for her and my 7yo who also has additional needs. Also, I have on/off struggles with my mental health and some physical symptoms that are being investigated, Im not sure on top of everything I could realistically hold down a full time job! Of course this could happen any time within the next 1-5years? But if i lived in my home, i would continue to be eligible for universal credits and could continue to work part time and support my daughter and take away a lot of the pressure im feeling.
There are issues though... the house is only 2 bedrooms, we are currently in a 4bed. There would be the possibility to extend +/convert loft and initially could partition the large living/dining room to make a 3rd bedroom as others on the street have done.
The island is all my kids have known, id be moving them away from their friends... I know that the youngest (5 and 7) would be fine, my 11yo asd daughter doesn’t have any friends and is looking like she will be homeschooled (actually better on mainland as theres a huge homeschool community – none on the island), so i think she would be fine as she could also see her gran more too. However, im not sure about my 14yo son. Hes a quiet boy and has a group of friends who he occasionally goes out with. In the summer they go pier jumping or walking/camping. Apart from that hes gaming on his PC. Hes just going in to 4th year (Scotland) and will be taking his nat 5s, hes not academic and has picked hospitality, woodwork, music, history and english and maths. Il really not sure if its a good idea to move him at that age, going from a school of 300 to a school of 1000+ where he knows nobody... id be open to home ed if thats what he wanted but i dont know if removing him from his friends he has is going to be completely the wrong thng to do... kids here mostly leave for college around 17 or 18, or stay for an apprenticeship. The housing crisis makes it almost impossible for them to get their own place though, if lucky there might be a caravan.
I always put my kids first, but im struggling with this... do i put my 14yo first and keep him settled, till hes old enough to be independent, or do I consider my options which would potentially benefit everyone else?
So sorry for posting an actual essay... I feel like i really need some unbiased opinions