Awaiting court

[SiempreDot]

I posted recently about my son's father refusing to drop our son off on Christmas Day as specified by the court order.

Prior to this, he said we would be taking our son away from Friday (today) until Sunday. I asked where they were going and he refused to tell me, even though the court order specifies he does.

I suggested that I thought he may be going to this annual club night he's always gone to (where he and his mates have a two day bender) and said If that was the case, I'd like to know who would be taking care of our son. He refused to tell me again.

He has form in taking our son and refusing to give him back on agreed time and this has made our son feel very confused and upset. When we've had disagreements, he's told him I don't want him anymore.

Because of this, I decided to keep our son with me this weekend because I didn't believe he would be returned on time, as history had demonstrated and I made a judgement on what might be the most harm.

I do feel like I can evidence my decision; however Were in court next week and I'm worried the court will not agree with me at all. Just wondering if there's any advice how to frame this?

If you’re concerned your son won’t be returned you are within your rights to withhold contact, your ex will have to apply for a new court order and stick to it - be careful though because he has exactly the same right

The court order specifies that he has to tell you where he takes DS? Thats a new one on me although i'm sure there will be a reason for it, just seems a little strange. Usually it's a case of when he's with one parent it doesn't matter who, where, what they do, it is none of the other parents business unless there is an actual reason.

Only exception is for holidays abroad as far as i'm aware, the details of those are usually shared and agreed between both parties in advance.

Anyway, for the actual issue it likely wont be as straight forward as you imagine.

He might say that you kept trying to get information from him that he wasn't required to give, and that it was an attempt at controlling his contact.

However, based just on the facts of what happened and assuming nothing else is brought up I have to say I think you've made a mistake and i'd be surprised if you could justify it.

Ex message you an hour in advance on christmas day and said his car had broken down so could you come pick up DS, you believe he was lying and that his family should have made an effort to drop off DS or your ex should have arranged other travel, and that might well be true. He still gave you an appropriate reason in an appropriate time so unless you can prove it was a lie, I don't see what you can do about it.

The problem is, your reaction to a delayed return where you had to put in more effort than expected was to stop contact. This is not a justified response. It's misinformed and a mistake. You knew court was coming up, why didn't you just wait for him to return DS late again (if you thought that would happen) and document it and provide that document in court. Refusing access to DS because of a late return due to car troubles is not going to be received well i'm afraid.

The only way this won't look bad is if there is a long history of excuses from ex and the delays sometimes mean returns that next day as opposed to an hour or two late.

I'm sorry OP, it's quite possible your ex is an asshole, but from the facts I can see (which admittedly is not a lot) you played right in to his hand.