Ankle operation - no family able to help

[themuminator]

I'm having a major operation on my ankle in 2 weeks and my new partner just left me today.

Kids are thankfully 12 and 15, but not self sufficient at all.

I'll be bed bound for 2 weeks, and in cast for 8 weeks. Could be 3-4 months before I return to work.

If I go over 60 days paid sick leave, I'll go into half pay which means I won't be able to afford my rent. I could cancel the operation I guess, but I will need it at some point or other anyway. I'm in longterm pain and reduced mobility otherwise.

I do have family but my mum is in a different country and my sister has her own family to deal with. I'm just not sure how I'm going to manage. I don't really have anyone I can call on.

I know I should try to find a cleaner at least, but I don't think I can afford it. Are there any other agencies that can help in situations like this? I have no idea where to even start looking.

Thanks for any advice given.

You have two weeks to make them self sufficient on a crash course of cooking, cleaning and washing. You will be able to direct and supervise.
Sit them down. And talk to them I know my 15 year would absolutely step up in this situation:

What job do you do, could you work from home? Could you get a taxi in to work towards end of recovery time? Also if cast is off in 8 weeks why do you have to be off for 3-4 months

The 15 year old can and should step up here

Sorry for the shit timing. Will the ex not help at all?

yep
use the 2 weeks to teach dc easy meals (microwave and kettle are your best friends) and organise online shops.
household chores, like keeping the kitchen tidy and doing laundry shouldn't really be an issue at that age.

You can do online shopping, the dc should be able to do easy meals, you can maybe get a lap tray so you can prepare stuff. The house will survive if it isn't clean to usual standards. I was unexpectedly laid up for a month and the family had to pull together and it helped them appreciate me. It won't be long before they are independent and will need those skills. Talk to work about accommodating you on your return.

Do you children have special needs that mean they can’t look after themselves? Im struggle to understand why a 15 and 12 year old wouldn't be able to manage otherwise. Even if they do, you need to be teaching them basic self care so they can eventually live independently.

What sort of work do you do? Why would you need so much time off? Can you not ask them to accommodate you in a slightly different role due to the injury?

I can’t see why an NT 12 and 15 year old cant look after themselves? Do they have sen? They really should be able to manage otherwise

Would your workplace offer any help like a lift to work, WFH etc if you explain the situation? Obviously I don’t know what you do for work.

Do you children have special needs that mean they can’t look after themselves? Im struggle to understand why a 15 and 12 year old wouldn't be able to manage otherwise

The replies are astonishingly unsupportive. I get it op. What kids should do, could do and what they actually do are worlds apart at that age. You are a lone parent and they are doubly reliant on you too. I really feel for you, but you just have to muddle through together. Keep reminding them this isn't as you would like and let your standards drop as low as they need to.

Tbf I was living alone at 16 so I would be quite surprised if a 15 year old couldn’t manage cleaning and cooking basic meals. Needs must at the end of the day what other choice is there?

Sorry OP but they'll have to step up. I broke my ankle and needed surgery when DD was 5. My mum picked her up in morning and drive her to school but that was it in terms of support. I had to pick her up- a five minute walk took 30 on crutches etc. We ate loadsa microwave meals and DD got used to carrying her plate to the table and other stuff I couldn't do. I recommend buying a backpack if you don't have one as this allows you to carry wet washing to the radiators etc