I have six kids (DD1= 3, DD2 and 3= 2, three next month, and DS1/2 and DD4= 3 months) and I split from their father quite suddenly nine months ago. He has moved across the world with his girlfriend ( of three years, so I was being cheated on) and their new baby, and has made it very clear to me that he doesn't want anything to do with me or his six children. He's never even met the triplets and his mother refuses to even acknowledge they're alive, going as far as to move away so I didn't try and make her be a part of their lives.
It's been a rough year and the kids are at an age where I can't tell them what's really happened and it's hard to explain to them. I told them daddy had to go away for work ad he probably won't be back for a while, and the kids accepted that until yesterday. We're staying with my parents and siblings for christmas so they didn't feel lonely and it was going perfect until bed time.
DD1 asked me if their dad had gotten them a present, and I had to say I didn't know because I hadn't spoken to them. DD3 asked if I could ring him and ask him, so I had to say he was asleep and I couldn't. DD2 began shouting saying I was being a mean mummy because I wasn't letting them talk to their daddy, which set her twin off and then DD1 was a mess sobbing for her father while holding her teddy which he got her last christmas. It took me about two hours to get them settled again because of how bad they were and after they were finally asleep and so were my triplets, I went to bed and just cried.
I feel terrible because of what he did and it's not my fault that he's a dick but I feel so bad telling them he can't talk to them because of work. I can't explain to three toddlers that their dad didn't want them anymore or want their mum anymore and has moved halfway across the world with his new and better family, because that will actually destroy them and it destroys me. I don't think I can handle this every single birthday and christmas until they're old enough to know the truth, and I don't think I could even tell them then because I want to protect them from him forever. He doesn't even care that they're alive and they care so much and it kills me.
Does it ever get easier? Do they ever realise he isn't coming back and just drop it? Will they ever understand why he left? Will they just get worse until they find out the truth? Will he ever care about them again or even bother to see if they're alive and doing well?