Child support disagreement

[DearPru]

Evening,

I’m looking for advice from fellow single parents who receive child support from their ex partner.

Me and my ex split before the summer and since then we’ve had an arrangement that he pays £190 per month for both our children (aged 3 & 6) we came to this figure from looking at the child maintenance calculator online. Its never felt enough but I was happy I was at least getting something so was happy to continue. However this past week he’s told me he’s reassessed the amount and believes he’s paying £20 per month too much! He said because he has the children overnight sometimes that this is why it should be less.
To explain our arrangement, he has the children every second weekend from Friday evening to Sunday dinner time. Friday evenings I meet him at the bus station with the children at 6.30. Kids have been bathed and fed and by the time they get to his they go straight to bed. He then brings them home before dinner on a Sunday.

I don’t think it’s fair he’s deducting £20 from the figure when he only feeds them dinner ONCE every second weekend. We argued about it and he wasn’t willing to budge so I’ve told him not only will he have to feed them before bringing them home on a Sunday, but I won’t be packing a weekend bag for them to take either. He’s complained he doesn’t have money to buy them clothes to keep at his so I’ve been packing clothes for them for the weekends he has them and like a mug, been dealing with the bag of washing when he brings them back on a Sunday. I’ve told him I’m going to go to the child maintenance service but he said that they deduct a percentage so I’ll receive even less money. Does anyone know if that’s true? I work part time; only 10 hours per week. I’m not sure if this makes a difference.

Sorry for the rambling. If anyone has had similar experience?

Thanks x

The cms don't deduct money, they charge him extra. I say go for it, he has no room to negotiate what he's paying then. And good for you he should be feeding them and have clothes etc at his house for them.

Thanks @touchdaqueef I challenged him on the amount being less, I said you’ll pay that; the children’s money will stay the same and he said they’d take a percentage off the amount I receive for the children also. I think he’s trying to put me off going to the CMS x

They do actually deduct from both the patent who receives and the patent who pays if it reaches a collect and pay point where they have to deduct straight from his wage. It's an extra 20% on top for him to pay and you would lose 4% of what your entitled to. The first step for cms though is an agreement where they decide the amount he pays and he is to pay you this directly, only if he continues failing to make payments would they refer it to collect and pay.

@DearPru he almost definitely is trying to put you off because then he'll never be able to ugly you down or miss a payment! If you look on the cms calculator there are 2 amounts, the recommended amount and then a slightly higher amount which takes into account their charge for being involved. I'd give them a call tomorrow and set it up if I was you.

Thank you @whereishappyat I’d be happy to pay a percentage if it meant he couldn’t chop and change the amount when it suits him.

Thank you also @touchdaqueef I’ll be giving them a phone tomorrow. X

The CMS can deduct 4% from your payments IF you ask for them to collect payment, they'll also deduct a slightly higher percentage from him.

However, if you ask for a calculation from them and opt for direct pay, they'll set the payment plan and reassess his income with HMRC annually but it won't cost either of you anything. So you've really got nothing to lose by making an application.

There us a fee to make an application, I think its £25.

They will do a calculation and issue a payment schedule. If he sticks to the schedule then no fees are taken from that amount. If he doesn't pay, then they will move to collect it. When they collect it, they will take an extra 20% from him as a fee. They will also deduct 4% from the calculated amount you should receive as a fee.

Thanks so much folks. I’m definitely making a claim tomorrow. Hopefully he doesn’t cause us to use direct pay and they can settle the amount for us x

OP they'll charge you £25 to apply and then charge you 4% of payments and charge him 20% so they'll strongly try to tell you that you need to try and reach an agreement first and it can be hard to argue with them. I still think you should do this but peep your arguments in advance. I didn't and haven't seen a penny in 6.5 years

Furthermore, can I suggest children go to his in clothes you're not that bothered about? If you send them in anything nice they'll l ikely come back in supermarket cheapies.

id hope your ex isnt as awful as mine, just beware the pitfalls!

Thanks @kitk i didn’t think he’d be this petty but here we are.

I just realised by packing them clothes and then washing them all when they come home, is just giving him one less thing to have to do. He thinks his time with them ‘should be all fun’ hence the reason why he doesn’t do them dinner on a Sunday, he’d rather spend his time with them having fun. I don’t have a choice the other 95% of the time I’ve got them x

@DearPru exactly. Am v sorry for you cos my ex is also a massive shit and so we adapt but that dsnt make it not shit

My ex was paying £300 for two teens ( only the last two years before nothing) I asked for a bit more (£50) as they needed new things like uniform, glasses he said no. Went to CMS, he delayed payment for four months and I was awarded £820 a month.
Which will be more in a year than I received in 5.
Won't receive the first payment til January and he will still probably fine a way not to pay but at least I know with proof he's a scummy dick who doesn't want to support his dc.