New relationship advice

[maybelle4]

Sorry in advance for this being a long one.

I’m a single mum to a 16mo. I have been for her whole life. When she was 6 months an old friend and I got back in touch and we starting chatting and hanging out. As I’m a single mum with no support my toddler is always with me so he met her almost straight away. Soon my friend and I realised we were interested in more than just friendship and we’ve been in a relationship since. I hoped he was the one but deep down I know that this isn’t forever, we have different opinions on raising children and a few other topics and I just know this couldn’t work long term. He isn’t aware I feel like this. He is such a good man, he adores my toddler and she adores him but whenever they’re playing or she gives him a hug or a kiss goodnight I just feel pure guilt because I know they’re not going to be in each other’s lives forever. Before having my toddler I felt it was fine to stay in a relationship if you knew it wasn’t going to be forever but now I’m not sure if I’m just being cruel to both my partner and my toddler. I fear all your advice will be to end things now to prevent either getting hurt but I love hanging out with him and he’s so understanding of my life and that my toddler always comes first (she has quite a few needs so really does take up all of my time) anyone any thoughts?

You need to end it immediately. It's very bad for your child otherwise.

this is totally unfair on your child. you need to end the relationship now

I know it is hard as you are clearly enjoying the relationship and the support it brings you when being a single mum to a child that age is tough. On one hand I think why can't you enjoy yourself as you don't have to view everyone you meet as a life partner, although in reality I think all of us aspire to that and not doing anything means storing up the issue.

I think you should really think through what it is you don't think will work with him and why and then in reality talk it through with him, and yes ultimately I don't think you should carry on as your child will become so attached it will be like a divorce at a point when your child is much older and able to understand

Thankyou for your opinions, I felt that would be the response, I think I just needed someone to give me a kick, my childs needs always need to come first. I guess I had just been enjoying finally doing something for me for the first time in 16 months.

I have been single for 10 years, mum of two girls age 25 and 22. My youngest daughter and I have been living alone for many years while my eldest was at university and we are more like best friends regularly going on holiday together. I met someone completely unexpectedly 6 months ago and am very happy but my youngest daughter is not happy with him being at the house or being included at family events. I am trying to be strong and insisted that he spent Xmas day with us but she chose to be miserable and did not join in. She asked me to tell him to go home so that we can have a normal family day as we do each year but I didn't want to which led to a massive upset. He eventually went home to avoid any further problems. Am I wrong to stick to my guns?

Start your own thread Laph and yes YABU.