The situation with my children and their dad has been complicated lately, they haven't seen him since the 1st of September, due to some issues while at his house with his girlfriend and them feeling he treats them badly and doesn't really care.
I have tried to encourage him to talk to them to understand their issues, and work with them to resolve them, but he wouldn't. We both went to a mediation appointment, unfortunately with a different provider to each other and neither are prepared to go to the others, I will say I wouldn't use his as the office staff were incredibly rude to me and actually made me cry.
His contact has been minimal, my eldest is 11 and has her own phone, she has received 5 text messages from him since the 1st September, the last one being the 4th November, and at no point has he picked up the phone and called, either her mobile, our landline or my mobile, and neither have his parents.
But as we are creeping close to Christmas two of the children are motivated by the idea of presents. My 11 year old has said she wants to see him boxing day, when then asked if that meant she wanted to begin seeing him again, she said yes but only Christmas and birthdays and maybe some holidays - and she doesn't want to ever stay there again, this is clearly motivated by gifts in my eye. My youngest seems happy to go if one of his siblings are going, but my 9 years is amendment he's not wanting to go at all.
I'm really not sure how or what to do. Has anyone got any sensible advice for me? I can contact him obviously, but he is clearly going to view it that the children only want any gifts he might have got them, this to me seems pointless as gifts he buys. he doesn't allow to come to my house. But I'm lost. I just want the kids to be happy.