DS dad refusing to give me his address

[rainbowsand]

I'm not sure if this is the right topic to post in but I wonder if anyone can help

I have a 2 year old DS. Ex left when he was tiny (didn't do any parenting when he was here) and has only ever seen him at my house once a week, usually for half an hour and very, very occasionally for 45 minutes (his choice). Every so often he cancels and goes a couple of weeks between visits.

I know ex has moved house because he has told me and CMS have confirmed he now supports 2 other children. Ex now randomly wants to take DS out on his own this week. I've asked for his address but he hasn't given it to me. I only know what village he is in (ten minutes away) but nothing more than that.

My question - I'm seriously concerned about letting him take DS when I don't even know where he lives. If he didn't return him I wouldn't know where to go to try and find him. I wouldn't let anyone else take my DS if they wouldn't tell me where they lived - do I have any right to refuse to let him take him unless he provides it? If I am justified in taking this position (all views welcome, please be kind, I only want to do what is right for DS) then can anyone help me word a message to ex to this effect which won't be provocative or anything.

To clarify: I would still encourage the contact but I would be there too. There are no court orders in place.

I went through this with my ex. He wanted to take them around 300 miles to his new home when the eldest was 6 and the youngest a baby. Solicitor told me that of 3 local judges and in the absence of any proven abuse on my part, 2 would make him give a verifiable address before contact resumed and that she was 80% sure the third judge would say the same.

Legally, no he doesn’t have to if there is no court order but it is possible to get the court order.

I’m glad he took it well. It’s such a hard situation. Maybe get some legal advice too but it would be best if he will be reasonable and you can be on ok terms so he won’t be vindictive and push for more than you’re comfortable with

I may have to consider legal advice before I take any steps. I'm a lawyer myself but in an entirely different field and I do know from my own field the huge difference taking good legal advice at an early stage can make. Something to mull over. Thanks again all. I really appreciate everyone's input and for sharing experiences with me. I find this whole situation incredibly daunting!