Fathers 1st Time meet after 3 years

[W1060008Z]

Hello all, so my DD is meeting her father for the first time in 3 years, she is 4! So doesn’t remember him, my question is, where should we all meet? I get it’s going to be awkward where ever we go, their is no escaping that one, I don’t know if it’s best to meet at my house where my DD will be most comfortable or go to a farm or soft play etc

I think somewhere like a farm better for DD so she has a distraction/ escape if it's too much. She might be more comfortable at home but it'll also be less appropriate for her to hide away in her room etc and am sure you'd rather not have an ex in your space?

How comes he hasn’t seen her in 3 years? I wouldn’t do it at your house think somewhere neutral is better.

Not at home.

Yeh I definitely don’t want him in my space, and yes she could hid, good point! She’ll definitely pick up on me being weird so properly best at a farm where there is things to see

I’m w1080006, changed my name!! Well he decided he didn’t want to be a dad and moved aboard, changed number and paid nothing, so top bloke!!! I contacted him last month as DD keeps asking about him and it’s heart breaking, he thanking for reaching out and would like to see her, so guess he has had some time to mature, they are meeting this Sunday

Until you know he is going to stick around, it might be prudent to introduce him just as a friend rather than as dad. Then if he disappears again it won’t be quite so upsetting

That’s why I asked, hope it wasn’t too intrusive but my ex was recently absent for 3 years, very much the same story, “didn’t want to be a dad” apparently! Because it’s an opt out service clearly. He contacted me 6 months ago asking to see them after 3 years, I let him. He seen them once (4 children in total) then disappeared again! Haven’t heard from him since. Kids are even more heartbroken as they finally just forgot about him. I really wish I hadn’t let him see them again. He came up with the same line that he would never be a dad and didn’t actually want to see them again. So I think it’s quite telling that it was you who contacted your ex not to other way round. Be careful is all I’m saying.

I wouldn't get your hopes up tbh.
Be prepared for him to let her down again. Just don't try and contact him after that, ever.

Does he live here now?

As in, the same country as you

Oh wow pumpkinP, that’s all just awful, after 4 kids he realises he don’t want to be a dad!!!! Jesus, and your opt out comment was just spot on! How can they not care! My ex only saw DD at 4 months and then again at 1 year, that’s all, I’m planning on moving to Oz so this is my last effort for my own conscience, if he sees her and then disappears again then I will feel like I did my bit

Yes if it doesn’t work then il never contact him again, he was in Dubai and now lives back in the UK where I am too,

You haven't told her who he is, right?

Not yet,

Too many useless fathers deciding it’s optional after having kids. My ex actually told me not to contact him ever again unless it’s an emergency so I will never contact him again emergency or not. He actually even made out that I had forced him to see them again even though he contacted me so be prepared for that! I know why you contacted him though as it’s hard when you have children wanting their dad, my dd is very affected by it.

Yeh he doesn’t deserve you to ever contact him.

Thanks ladies for all your comments, they was all very useful, fingers crossed for Sunday

Hi op how did it go?

Hey yeh it went really well, I also met his gf, who was really nice, so it was as I thought, it is her who is pushing the relationship, she was upset that he didn’t see his daughter, so it’s good but also worrying that it’s not really what he wants so if they was to spilt then maybe he won’t be bothered to see DD anymore, guess we just take it one visit at a time