How often does other parent have child

[bluebunny123]

Hi all just looking for other people's situations. I've separated from my daughters dad and just looking to see how other people share care.

He's currently having her once a week from 11-5.

I'm open to overnights or visits after school if anyone does that.

Two nights a month(EOW, Sat lunchtime till Sun evening). At least it's regular now - used to be more like one weekend per month and lots of last minute cancellations.

My 8yr old hasn't seen his "dad" since he was about 11mths old. His choice and his loss!

Every Wednesday night until Thursday morning, plus 50% of each weekend.

When we split a year ago he was told he could see them whenever he wants. He took them on holiday twice this year for 7 nights each time but generally we average 6 hours a week (weds 2 hours and Sunday 4hours)
We actually argued this week about his lack of time and after calling me some nasty names he's asked if he can have he youngest overnight Friday and take teen out Saturday!
I'd like him to do every other weekend and one night in week take them for tea but he's clearly too busy! Lol

One midweek evening, every other weekend from school til sun evening, plus half of the school holidays. He’s constantly cancelling and trying to make me swap days around though 🙄

I'm getting angry reading all your replies too I would do absolutely anything for my daughter as I'm sure you all would.
These men don't know what they're missing out on.
If it was me who didn't have her full time i'd be wanting her more it's just mad to me that these blokes don't.

One night per month. If he doesn't cancel it. (Apparently, he's working every other hour of the month/ he's 'entitled to have a life')

Dd goes to her dads every Sunday from 11am and he drops her at nursery on the Monday. Less than 24 hours a week

I just go with it now because he will not consider do anymore and I can’t be fucked to fight with him. It makes me sad because she misses him terribly in the week, but what can I do?

My son goes to his dads every other weekend from friday to sunday and whatever time my ex has off and wants DS. Alternate christmases and birthdays

DDs dad has her Tuesday and Wednesday night one week, Friday and Saturday night the other. We alternate birthdays and Christmas but am aware we are in the minority - we have a very amicable relationship!

My OH is ‘allowed’ to see his kids from 5:15 on Fri to 4pm on Sunday + half of the school holidays.

It’s court ordered and mother won’t allow any more time.

Contact is for the child, do what’s best (I see the damage withholding contact does to kids).

Does the Mother not get free time unless it's a school holiday then Northern? That's quite nice for him really isn't it? He gets to be fun and not be strict about bedtimes twice every week and she only gets school nights.

@anotheruser02 - he wants to see the kids more but the mother won’t allow it. He gets them EOW. How is that ‘nice’ for him? How would you feel if you were dictated to on when you could see your own kids.

And I have no idea what you are banging on about fun and not being strict. I haven’t mentioned what he does on his time - so how have you come to that conclusion?

My exH has them tues/ weds evenings overnight and then alternate weekends (fri night until Sunday lunchtime)
Kids are 9 and 6 and has been this way since we split 4 years ago

I got the impression from this sentence My OH is ‘allowed’ to see his kids from 5:15 on Fri to 4pm on Sunday + half of the school holidays.

Which makes it sound like he has every weekend and half the holidays, which sounds really nice and would limit fun time for the dm. Obviously there was a miss understanding and you actually meant every other.

Calm down with the 'banging on' talk.

For the record Northern, I personally know of 3 women whose OH claimed that ex-wife wouldn't 'allow' him more time with children, who claimed that he would love to spend more time with them etc etc whilst at the same time not making himself available, making excuses to ex/ to courts.

I was married to one of those men and only found out the truth several years later. I'd always thought that his ex was a bit cruel for not allowing him to be more involved but didn't question it.

Some men lie. And, unless you know what has been said by the 2x parents and/ or seen what is in court papers, you can't really make a judgement based on what your OH says. There are shocking amount of men letting their children down. Just saying...

...society just accepts that seemingly reasonable, grown men don't spend much time with their kids. No consideration given to the ex's need to earn money, have child-free time etc or to the sheer exhaustion of being a single mother. I didn't question it or wonder why or whether he should be more involved with his children.

DP has his kids 50% of the time, on with a 2, 2, 5, 5 pattern of nights (it's EOW, plus 2 consecutive midweek nights a week for both parents).

My ex has DS EOW (fri-mon morning) and two evenings a week (but brings him home afterwards so I always have him mon-thurs over night).

We all split the school holidays 50-50 though.

...society just accepts that seemingly reasonable, grown men don't spend much time with their kids. No consideration given to the ex's need to earn money, have child-free time etc or to the sheer exhaustion of being a single mother. @NooNooMummy I might just send him this not that he would care at all.

He hasn’t seen my 4 since I fell pregnant with DC4 18 months ago

@NorthernSpirit My DH is "allowed" to see his DD8 10am Sat - 7pm Sunday EOW, and that's IT. 25 times a year... he's been to mediation several times to put forward Friday school - Monday school, one overnight a week, and 50% school holidays as minimum.

She has 2 siblings here, and isn't allowed any holidays / birthdays with us (if they fall on his weekend they get cancelled) She goes away on holiday with mum and partner 6 times a year, but isn't allowed to go away with us,.. These are facts, she communicates with both of us so I've seen it first hand.

Apparently he should be lucky that he gets the "exact same amount of weekend time as her"

I know it's not just the guys. Some very bitter people on both sides.

Mine is not allowed direct or indirect contact.

@NooNooMummy I'm pretty sure my exH's DP is told all manner of things. It's almost like some of these men have read the same script, but you don't know that until you've been shown it for what it is. My exH pulls some unbelievable stunts and then claims I've blocked contact.

It would be amazing if every negotiation started from a position of 50/50 contact and no one pays any maintenance, and then work out, based on what the child needs, where it needs to move from there.

Yes! And if you don't want to take 50% of the responsibility, you have to pay the other person to take on your share of the work - seems fair to me!