Hi,
There is a CAO in place in regards to my son who is 2.
In regards to Christmas it states Ds is to spend Christmas with each parent on alternate years. Christmas eve 2pm til 2pm Christmas day (This year DS is with his dad Christmas eve)
But the order also states (and this is the part I am unclear about) that the father will have an extra 4 days during the Christmas period or an extra 2 days where these take place immediately before or after arranged contact time.
My ex and I have no communication other than via a communication book as there has been Previous DV. My ex has wrote in the book today that we need to discuss Christmas, he is saying that the order means he is to have extra nights whereas I read it as days in the order as it doesnt state overnights. And is saying he wants 2 whole extra nights directly after his full weekend with Ds Christmas week which will be 4 overnights in total. I am.barely going to see DS if this is the case as he is only going to be home at 2pm Christmas day then boxing day then will go again an wont be returned until new years eve. This is not suitable for me as we as a family have plans to visit other family members due to ds hardly been at home Christmas week.
The thing is I remember my solicitor saying when we came out of court that this is all to be mutually agreed between ourselves and the order is not very clear. So I am just wondering how this order sounds to other people? As in it saying extra days, whereas my ex is saying it is nights. My solicitor also said that the Christmas period is usually classed as been over a 2 week period so surely these days can be taken at any time during that period and not just when my ex says so.
He is a very nasty person and bullies me on various subjects frequently In this contact book and tries to still control our lives. Dont want to spend the next 4 weeks trying to arrange this. I can see it having to go to mediation to be honest as he will never agree on anything I say or suggest. Plus he is under the impression its nights and I think it means days so it's very difficult.
I will have to contact my solicitor for him to clarify this order but I will worry all weekend until I can speak to him so just wondered what others think of this?
Today 16:04AcrossthePond55
The wording '2 or 4 extra days' certainly is 100% open to interpretation. A day can either be 'dawn to dusk' or a '24 hour period'. You could take it either way. If someone says "I'm coming to spend a day" you'd interpret it as not staying overnight. If someone says "I'm coming to spend 4 days" you'd certainly interpret it as staying overnight.
If the object was to make it less stressful to the child, I can see that 2- 4 overnights would probably be better than 2-4 days of pick up/drop off every morning/evening.
It's up to you to decide how 'hard and fast' you want to be. Just be prepared for it to end up back in court for a stricter, more 'spelt out' schedule if the two of you aren't able to reach an agreement.
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Today 16:20JoJo2106
Yes it definitely is very unclear isn't it. The thing is though it can be anytime over the whole Christmas period which my solicitor said that's usually a 2 week period so the days could be scattered rather than him having 5 overnights that week and me 2 which I feel is very unfair.
This is the problem with the order not been very clear we are both interpreting it as how we both see it. I assumed if the court meant overnights the order would have stated nights and not days. So annoying that we will most likely have to go to mediation over this.