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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Christmas without kids

11 replies

Hullabalooo · 21/11/2019 15:13

It's my first christmas without DC this year since birth. My ex took me to court and it's his turn to have DC for four days over the whole period. I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I wondered what you all do when you don't have yours?

I'm not going to family as for various reasons I can't face the dysfunctionality there especially with DC and most friends are either with their kids, their families or away doing exciting things.

I am normally pretty resilient and good at planning or finding nice things to do, but for some reason I can't seem to find a possibility to do on my own. The timings of the handovers mean it's not quite enough time to go away properly myself either, or at least nowhere abroad :)

I would also say that I work really hard the rest of the year so I don't want to work on Christmas day as a volunteer or anything. I could do with a rest.

What shall I do? Recommendations? I was thinking about a retreat but they're all really expensive and tbh I'd rather see mates and not feel alone.

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Doyoumind · 21/11/2019 15:17

What dates are you alone from and to? If it were me and I had the money I would go and stay in a hotel in a UK city that does Christmas well and have a touristy wander around.

Doyoumind · 21/11/2019 15:18

I still see family when I don't have mine but I would actually quite like the time on my own.

IdiotInDisguise · 21/11/2019 19:44

What do you do? The same he and other people do when you cannot spend Christmas with your children:

  • Decide whether you want to pretend it is not Christmas or want to be surrounded by people.
  • If the former, plan something you would like to do that normally you can’t do with the children on tow. If the later, find a a nice group of people to spend Christmas with. I personally enjoy spending time with people who welcome me as if I was part of the family (and try to remind myself that Christmas is NOT cancelled, just postponed until DS is back)
Hullabalooo · 22/11/2019 22:26

I wonder if I'll find it hard to spend it alone though. Stbx has spent time trying to erase me from the picture and so will be celebrating with dc and gf and family..i know I'll find myself thinking about how their Christmas is so much better than mine

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SleepwalkingThroughLife · 22/11/2019 22:34

This is what I would do:
Paint a room
Learn to knit
Bake sweet stuff
Catch up on tv/iPlayer
Start a massive declutter

Lonecatwithkitten · 23/11/2019 07:52

Long walk to whatever the weather if you have or can borrow a dog even better. Snuggle up in your PJs and eat food you like watching Christmas TV. Work - whilst I know you say you don't want to is also good.
As others have said teach yourself to crochet or knit whilst watching TV. All have worked for me in the past.

Moonba · 23/11/2019 18:50

I'm keeping my options open and I have some invitations from some very relaxed people who will only need me to confirm at the last moment, that way if it feels to hard to be alone on the day I don't have to.

My actual plan though is to be home alone having a really good rest. I'll be in the armchair, feet up with a fire going and a bottle of whiskey! I (sort of) can't wait...that said there is a lot that I won't miss and I know that the DC will be having a ball.

Hullabalooo · 24/11/2019 10:15

Thanks all. This is a more positive approach. I'm still unsure about it and worrying but will see what emerges.

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Mum56347 · 25/11/2019 14:39

Why did he take you to court? Did you refuse to let him have DC?

CFlemingSmith · 25/11/2019 14:41

Watch a really good film and eat loads of chocolate.
Go a walk and get fresh air.
Meet up with some friends for a drink.
Do things that YOU enjoy, for you.

Hullabalooo · 25/11/2019 15:08

He's abusive so it was all part of that and be applied for full custody despite not being particularly involved before with dc. He didn't get it but now does standard onw etc

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