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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Ex wants to take DS out of school for hol... Advice please

19 replies

user1469567046 · 10/11/2019 19:59

I received a text this morning: 'I’m in the process of booking a holiday for June next year I would like DS to come it would be in term time nd he would probably need bout 8 school days off if there is a fine I would pay it.'

8 school days is an awful long time to have at one, is it not?
I have no idea how to proceed. I know I can't physically stop him from doing this. Had anyone been in a similar situation? What has happened with fines etc?

OP posts:

Comefromaway · 10/11/2019 20:00

How old is he? What year is he in at school?

Winterdaysarehere · 10/11/2019 20:02

AFAIK each dp gets the fine. He would need to pay twice.
Ime dc having a holiday with a dm /df is important too...
Bear in mind one day you may need him to back a decision you make...

Gruzinkerbell1 · 10/11/2019 20:06

It all depends how old your son is. Reception, no big deal really. GCSE age, no way!

I would stipulate that he needs to approach the school though.

Winterdaysarehere · 10/11/2019 20:21

We have taken dc out for a fortnight annually for years 5/6/7 and 8 for dh's hobby.
100% attendance all other terms. School have never battered an eyelid.

carly2803 · 10/11/2019 20:25

depends on the age of the DC

if im honest, i am not a fan of taking kids out of school for a general holiday!

Sleepingboy · 10/11/2019 20:35

You'll get fined too . Is he going to pay your fine as well?

Original poster

user1469567046 · 10/11/2019 20:39

He's 6, so in year 2. Sats are in may (but I don't think they're as important as yr 6 ones?)
I'm all for him going on holiday with ex, as he doesn't get to spend much time with him other one that one a fortnight. Should I speak to the school?

OP posts:

MileyWiley · 10/11/2019 20:56

I wouldn't be concerned in the slightest in Year 2. And the Year 6 SATS really arent important either. He'll make great memories on holiday with Dad; he's offering to pay any fines; and hopefully Dad will remember this and be graceful about any requests you may make in the future.

MileyWiley · 10/11/2019 20:57

Oh and let Dad be the one to speak to school.

doublebarrellednurse · 10/11/2019 21:50

I'd let him get on with it in year 2.

You could physically stop him as a parent. I have to carry my sons details when we travel with him (I have a different surname to him and have been stopped multiple times at the border).

My ex always provides some letter or something that he knows we are travelling as well.

PumpkinP · 10/11/2019 21:58

I would have no issues with this and would happily take mine out for a holiday

Comefromaway · 10/11/2019 22:00

In Year 2 I wouldn’t cause a fuss but would make sure he agreed to pay your fine as well.

Original poster

user1469567046 · 10/11/2019 22:07

Thanks lovely people. It's the first time we've had this situation so didn't know how to proceed. Ds has only ever been off school ill.

OP posts:

RomaineCalm · 10/11/2019 22:09

"I wouldn't normally want to take Bob out of school but appreciate that you would like the time with him and I won't object to this. Bob will love a holiday with you. Please could you speak to school and also bear in mind that we may both be fined so it's likely to add £X to your holiday. I don't think Bob will miss much at that stage of Y2 but we probably need to make sure that he doesn't get into a habit of missing school as he gets older."

catspyjamas123 · 10/11/2019 23:20

Will he actually pay your fine? You have every right to stop him doing this - there are parents on this board who’ve not seen their ex for a decade and yet they could still stop them from taking their child on holiday.

Eight days is a lot of school missed even in year 2.

Butterymuffin · 10/11/2019 23:39

Half term will be end of May / beginning of June so could he at least look at overlapping? From my experience of looking, the prices drop when you get to Tuesday/Wednesday of half term week, and then there wouldn't be the need to miss as many days of school.

Frankola · 11/11/2019 19:57

To be honest I think its nice hes asked.

My husbands ex has never once asked and she takes my sd out in term time quite often

Russell19 · 11/11/2019 20:00

I'm a teacher and your DS will learn more from visiting another country (if it's abroad) than 8 days which will be after SATs. The teacher will be shattered and will probably be winding down. (Don't shoot me) 🤣

Original poster

user1469567046 · 11/11/2019 21:18

I spoke to the head today (being on the pta gets you on quite good terms) he said that over 5 days is when you get a fine. And that I need to get my ex to email them to ask permission. Apparently as long as he emails the school then he will get a fine if they decide to, and not me.
Spoke to ex who said what's the point if he's going to get fined anyway - pointed out that if he wants to take DS out of school then it need to be done properly... Fine or no fine.
I'm pleased he's taking him away as over the past couple of years he's been on plenty of hols with his new family and not included DS. DS will be made up.

OP posts:

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