Single mum pregnant again

[Mammabear111]

Hi I'm a single mum of one my baby is only 7months old me and me and baby's dad haven't been together for a few months now.
Anyway I have found out I am pregnant again my baby is still to young for me to be having baby number two I will be completely on my own I booked in for a talk about abortion I said I need more time to think about it I don't no if I can bring my self to abort my baby has a heart beat 😔 I am also scared of the risks of abortion the nurse told me one in 10 women get a womb injection which can lead to being infertility also hermrige etc I have no one to talk about this don't no what to do :( just no it will be hard with 2 under 2
When I went for the abortion they wouldn't show me the scan just told me the baby has a heart beat and pregnancy is moving in right direction don't no what to do 😭 also worried how my family will take this

Hi OP. I didn't want you to feel like nobody was listening. I can't offer much advice, I've never had an abortion so can't help there, but I am a single mum of 2 boys though with a bigger age gap. If you want to have this baby I'm sure you'll cope admirably. But there's nothing wrong with having an abortion if you feel it's best. What about this baby's father-would he be involved if you did have it?

Sounds like a tough situation. I don’t think the chances of complications are that high. From what I’ve heard abortion is quite a safe medical procedure. I think you just need to work out whether you can cope with two very young children and how you’ll go looking after your baby being pregnant. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision in the end

No procedure is completely safe I know but you need to consider not only your feelings and emotions, but also the practical ramifications of a second baby so soon in your situation. Do you have family that will help, do you a stable home, is the father involved etc. Then make a decision. I've had one many many years ago, no regrets as I wouldn't have coped at the time. Sometimes it's right sometimes it isn't and only you can decide but do try to think practically as well as emotionally.

What kind of place did you go to that told you one in ten women getting abortions get a womb injection - do you mean infection? I don’t think this is true. How far along are you?

Hey hun, I know this seems impossible just now but I have been there and I'm currently here again, I am a a single parent to soon to be three babies at 36 weeks pregnant, my older two are 6 and 2, if you can't go through with the abortion, please know that even though it is hard you can do it and it's so rewarding, don't doubt yourself. And if you do go through with the abortion, I've never had one myself but I know alot of people who have and they have never been ill or struggled to convince again after, there is alot of scaremongering around abortion, it is an incredibly hard decision to make but always remember you have a choice and having two babies under 2 isn't the end of the world but also having an abortion isn't the end of the world either. What ever choice is best for you is all that matters.

No he most likely wont he involed he isn't bothered and the nurse told me it's 1 in 10 women have a chance of womb infection and it can lead to infertility which is scary for me has I do want more kids and love being a mum I just would prefer it to be later on I am more on the side of keeping the baby but I don't no what to do I am unsure abortion the fort of stopping my baby's heart beat makes me feel so cruel that's my baby's brother or sister 😔 but yes I will have my hands full with 2 under 2
How big is your age gap and I am already feeling unwell and throwing up adleast twice a day going to speak to my mum later and tell her about it I am dreading the conversation

My name is human Thankyou :)

Tipsy tervy I have a nice house in a nice area and I do have family

Having an abortion is much lower risk than pregnancy and childbirth will be. If I were you I would be down there like a shot, the getting a coil fitted.

Forget heartbeats and stuff, how are you going to financially and emotionally support 2 children under 2? Do you have a plan

I Have two who were born exactly a year apart. So a newborn and 1 year old. It’s perfectly do able. I was a single mum from the beginning aswell. I now have 4 under 8 again single mum. It’s hard but not impossible. Do what you think is best but 2 under 2 isn’t really that bad if you want to keep the baby.

Yes I mean infection and it was the gynaecology in hospital

Pumpkin Thankyou and I no it would be

A womb infection isn’t a big deal if it does happen. It’s highly unlikely to be bad enough to cause further problems

Hi Op I have no experience of abortion so can't and won't comment on that however I can from personal experience tell you about single parenting - I had a 4 year old then had twins - so 3 under 4 I worked 3 days had one day's childcare from family the rest was nursery / childminder, no other support at times it was hard (physically and emotionally tiring) but also amazing. My 3 have a very close bond and we all look out for each other. I found with organisation, routine and teaching the children to be independent we have got on just fine. Money has always been tight especially with childcare however we manage.
You have a hard decision to make and no one can make it for you however if you don't go through with an abortion please know single parenting two small ones is doable.

I'm also a single mum, and it's not easy but it is a joy. And, although it seems like a lifetime, it's actually only the first bit where the small age gap makes it really challenging. Yes, it's tough on your own having a baby and a toddler, or being pregnant when you've already got a baby, but that's only in the short term. By the time they're 3 - 4 years old it's not a big deal anymore that they're close in age. It actually makes some things easier as they get older - handing down clothes without having to store them for ages, close enough to share a lot of toys, games, activities ... hopefully close enough to get on well with each other and entertain each other.

Once you get past the early baby stages, in a lot of ways a small age gap is ideal. Makes things like family holidays and days out much less stressful when they're both at about the same level developmentally.

Really though talk to your Mum. You need to sit down and talk this through in real life with someone you trust.

Butterfly you are amazing and that's so sweet that there close I did think it would be nice for my son to have a sibling close in age

Pass the cherry coke womb infections can lead to pelvis inflammatory diseases which yes can make you infertile I have been told this by the nurse it's also on the nhs papers they have give me with information of abortion and of the risks 1 in 10 is a high chance

But the chance of PId isn’t one in 10, the chance of INFECTION is 1 in 10. The vast majority of which are easily fixed with a short course of antibiotics

I think you’re focusing on this tiny risk because you don’t want to have an abortion. Fair enough - be honest with yourself

ive no advice at all

any help though, im a single mum of 1 and its bloody hard work. If i had a 2nd tomorrow id personally feel very blessed and embrace it. But i have tons of support around me.

But i am absolutely not in your shoes, if you have the support,you could nail this

best wishes and I hope you find the answer in your heart what you need to do

It’s not a 1 in 10 chance of infertility, infertility resulting from abortions is very very rare these days. I honestly wouldn’t focus on that, it so unlikely. Have you had someone to talk to about how close your pregnancies are? I had two within a year myself but I know that NHS in some areas are advising against it. Focus on what is right for you baby and for you right now. I hope you find an answer that is right for you

I had a womb infection after a miscarriage and it was unpleasant but didn't affect my fertility.

I think the idea of two under two as a totally single parent would be intolerably difficult and to choose it would be self sabotaging in the extreme.

I think, like you probably know this needs a lot of thinking about.
Of course it would be hard but it is doable on your own. There is 10 months between me and my sister (I was premature) and my mum managed. I know people cope/act in different ways.
Please do speak to someone.

Thankyou xx

OP the risk of complications of TOP are very low in first trimester. The health risks of continuing a pregnancy are higher. Here is a link to information www.nhs.uk/conditions/abortion/

There is up to a 1 in 10 risk of infection but most of these will be minor, easily treated with no long term effects.

I'm sorry you're in this situation.

I think you will be making life incredibly hard for yourself (and your existing child) if you go ahead with this pregnancy.

As previous posters have said, abortion (particularly early on) is very safer. It carries a lot less risk than childbirth. So I think you need to put the womb infection possibility aside and just be honest about what you really want.

Do you have friends / family you can speak to about this?