Shifts & Shared Care Advice

[somanyquestions19]

Desperately need some advice please.

My ex and I parted ways 2 years ago and I've always adhered to his shift rota as far as our child goes.

He's now changing to a 4 on 4 off shift pattern and he is insisting on 50/50 shared care.

My child is 5 and doesn't particularly like going to stay with him and his new family and sometimes I have to physically carry her crying to his door.
He is not the sort of parent who wants what is best for her as he's very strict and controlling and everything is his way or no way.

The new 4 on 4 off rota is horrendous and I feel that both me and my daughter are living our lives to suit him.

There's also things like he takes letters and homework out of her school bag so I don't get to see what
Is happening and she ends up suffering like going to school in uniform on none uniform days.

I've been told by a solicitor that we can go to court and the court will look upon his shift unfavourably as its causing my child to not have a routine.

He's also the type of person of things aren't going exactly his way who would pick my daughter up from school and tell me he's keeping her and I'll have to pay to take him to court to see her.

He's very unreasonable and always has been.

Does anyone know how courts generally look upon these dads who have shifts like this.

I work full time but my employer is quite flexible.

My ex works the same pattern he has our son on his 2nd and 3rd day off no overnights, we went to court and he never asked for them but the end of the court rulings says " any additional contact to be arranged by both parties" 2 months after going court he now wants overnights. My son is 2 i dont know how this will work when he goes to school.
As you say you dont get letters as he takes them out can you ask the school to send you letters?? I specifically went to court so that its stated our son resides with me so that he cant keep him. But i made my ex take me to court, plus there was alot of controlling behaviour from my ex so it all needs writing down. But he still keeps tellng me what he wants!
Does he have your child overnight???

Yes he does have her over night. Previously it's been a 55/45 split to me but now the shifts have changed he wants 50/50.

The school are aware of the letters being taken out the bag and suggested only putting the letters in her bag on my days but as the days are different every week they can't really do that. They're also not keen on emailing them to me so god knows.

He won't accept anything other hand 50/50. It's so sad as my daughter regularly gets upset and says she likes seeing him but doesn't want him to have her half the time. It's so hard making her go all the time.

I'm writing everything down now but solicitors have said that unless I can prove to court that it's emotionally affecting my daughter they're most likely to rule in his favour as they love a dad who is willing.