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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Sad parent

4 replies

Kanneb123 · 28/10/2019 23:38

Just wanted to share my story, offload my sadness a little.
15 months ago when my LB was only 12 weeks old my Husband of one year (together for 7) walked out and left us for a woman he started kissing at work two weeks beforehand.
Before this he was a wonderful man, adored me, said he loved our life, my soulmate.
I had quite a traumatic birth and a difficult time after birth. When I found out he had kissed her my world collapsed, I was already dealing with so many emotions being a first time Mum and finding it all very overwhelming breastfeeding etc.
He said he was going to sort his head out on the Friday and his friends and actually slept with that vile woman and never came back. The following week renting a house with her. Walked out on his Wife, newborn Son, two dogs, our friends and families, the home he built and never looked back. Didn’t bat an eyelid.
At first I thought he would see sense and come home. He never. He’s still with her.
I’ve always allowed contact with our Son but under my roof.
What’s also strange is I basically had a breakdown in front of him. Cried everyday for 8 months solid whilst holding our home and family together and not once had he shown and empathy, remorse towards me. If anything I irritate him. Said he hasn’t been happy for ages that’s why he did it, we had only just got married and had a child. There’s nothing to suggest this. If that was true you would talk about it and at least try wouldn’t you?!
So 15 months on I’m in a much better place but still can’t move on from it or get over how he could hurt me and not care. Not care how I’d would cope at the most vulnerable time in my life. How it would affect me and our baby.

OP posts:
unicornsarereal72 · 29/10/2019 07:40

You have shown that you are strong

He won't show remorse because that means excepting the blame. And feeling guilty. If he can shift the blame to you because 'you made him unhappy for years' then he can skip away guilt free.

Mine did the same. Although he was right we were unhappy but he can't see how he neglected me. Ignored me. Did nothing to support me with the children and lived his life whilst I struggled with working and little sleep and no free time. And in reflection he was emotionally abusive towards me and the children.

There is no changing the history. You have to leave it behind and rebuild the future you thought you had. And that takes time.

You deserve better. The ow has not won any prize. But it is a hard pill to swallow.

Lonecatwithkitten · 29/10/2019 08:06

He has rewritten history to justify his actions, there is nothing you can do to change this.
Honestly, the best thing you can do is live your best life with your son. Being happy in whatever shape that happens to be.
My Ex-H has dramatically rewritten history to justify his actions, but my daughter and I are happy so that is all that matters.

Kanneb123 · 29/10/2019 10:24

Thank you

OP posts:
Whoknows11 · 29/10/2019 19:41

This is v similar to my story sadly. I'm 5 years on and still no remorse or a sorry. I won't ever get one. He's not man enough to admitt he did wrong. Instead he's turned everything into my fault, blames me for everything, he's an angry, bitter man.
He's also shown and continues to show signs of domestic abuse. I'm seeking help at how to deal with it as I find it exhausting and very controlling. He won't allow me to get on with my life and I struggle with that.
Big hugs x

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