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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Am I the only one who feels overwhelmed sometimes

15 replies

Gempeatea · 26/10/2019 19:53

So I have 2 kids and don't get me wrong I love the bones of them but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed I want to run away. Hubby left in March and he does have them every other weekend if he's not working and will do bed a baths 2x a week if he's local but it's not regular although I know I am. Lucky that he still does this. Bit sometimes it's to much not just the kids but the arguments they have, the noise the housework... Work..... Sometimes I feel like the worst mum because like now I hiding in the kitchen just for some head space before I start bed times....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kitk · 26/10/2019 23:45

Genuine hugs. It's tough being a single parent. Chin up and don't forget to look after yourself x

madroid · 26/10/2019 23:48

You're not the only one. It's hard work. You have to really make an effort to look after yourself I think to survive the relentlessness of it. Make sure you get out every day and take up all help.

Starlight456 · 27/10/2019 00:10

How old are they . I am a Lp to one so no arguments but also a cm. one thing I have learnt more structure reduces the arguments but siblings do argue that is normal. I found beavers cubs scouts was my life line . Get them out even in the rain it makes life easier

moofolk · 27/10/2019 00:27

I have three. Their dad is great and has them half the time (though much of my 'time off' I have one or two of them anyway or I'm at work).

I love it, and I relish the little time I get to myself, which I know is more than a lot of single parents, but fucking hell it is hard.

It's relentless and thankless but I bet you are doing an absolutely storming job and so much better than you think.

And every time your ex is a knob you can just think, well at least he's not your boyfriend anymore.

PumpkinP · 27/10/2019 00:57

Ofcourse it’s not just you. I’m alone with 4 and my ex doesn’t see them at all and hasn’t in 3 years. I literally get no break. I have no family help either. You’re certainly not alone.

unicornsarereal72 · 27/10/2019 07:46

I am sure you are doing a great job. How old are they. As they get older it become more manageable. The arguing can be frustrating I know. As others say keeping busy and a good routine helps

My Kids have activity on each week night so one or the other is doing something.

House work. Food shopping and phone calls etc get done on my day off (work 4 days). Meal plan. Slow cooker and preparing the night before all help. The house gets untidy. Some time we eat pasta and pizza too much. But it's a balance I'm not running a show home. This is life and I'm doing my best.

Original poster

Gempeatea · 27/10/2019 09:58

Glad I'm not the only one.. 🤪. My boy is 2 and my girl is 6 and I think yesterday was one of "those days" they squabble more than argue I suppose and I think I need to be a bit more structured we are off out to the park today and it's also sunny so they usually just run a muck in the garden.

I honestly don't know how people do it without any support...

Thank you for your comments xx

OP posts:

GeekyGirl42 · 27/10/2019 16:37

I have just the one, she's 11, and I sometimes hide in the bathroom. So no, you 💯 are not the only one and it sounds like you are doing a really great job

CileyMayRhinovirus · 27/10/2019 20:53

Yeah it's really tough and can feel like there's no let up. It's going to be an adjustment period for them and you, and take a while to make new friends, new routines and new family traditions as a smaller unit.

I struggle with the day to day grind, money, loneliness, but we also have a lot of joy and fun. It's a mixed bag. But yes I feel overwhelmed most of the time, but with love and hugs as well as bills and housework so there's some balance now. Initially it was a hard uphill trudge, but it feels like things are evening out a bit now.

megletthesecond · 28/10/2019 08:07

Not just you. I'm ten years in and just relieved we're now over the halfway point to Uni so I can have a break then 8 years to go.
In the summer I would swim out to sea on holiday so I couldn't hear them for a bit.

DDIJ · 28/10/2019 08:12

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Monkeymoo82 · 05/11/2019 21:00

Oh my goodness ladies you all sound like you're doing an amazing job and the fact that you take yourself away to deal with it privately means you're an even better parent, trying to protect your children. But it's all ok as long as you love them and show them how much you care. Make fun times x be proud of yourselves you're doing an amazing job x

Clarinet53 · 08/11/2019 18:10

My husband left in April. My children are 11 and 14. I have a full time job where management expect extra hours. I then have the house and the pets to care for. I try to be organised and get things done of an evening but it still feels overwhelming. My husband turns up when he feels like it and pays £70 a week but does nothing more financially to help. It is totally overwhelming and it feels as though things are never going to feel better and at the end of the day I'm left spinning by it all

moofolk · 10/11/2019 12:14

Just a big up shout out to us all!

Go single mum crew we rock.

Spritesobright · 12/11/2019 22:28

I was about to post this message tonight. It's not just you then! Sometimes I wake up in the morning and think "I just can't do it anymore." I'm so tired. I have brief fantasies of telling my ex that I'm running away and he can deal with everything!

He left because it "wasn't fun" anymore and he couldn't bear the responsibility. Well what if I did that!??

You're right. It's the relentlessness and everyday BS. The other day I trod in dog poo in the hallway that no one had bothered to mention or clean up.
FFS.

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