Ex might have new partner

[purpleme12]

I'm worried
This person gave my child a birthday present and is going out with them for a day this has never happened before
I feel sick

He won't be a different person. May put on a front for a while.

Try not to torture yourself with it all. Just get on with living your best life you can

You need to step back from this op. You have split up from ex. It happens over and over again but when children are involved you can’t truely separate. In the sense there is still contact.

As for your dd my mum was abusive it took me till I was in my 30’s before I stopped caring she doesn’t love me . We are programmed to love our parents and unless you do something to destroy that she always will.

I would say as a lp. I think I am actually closer to my Ds as we have far more 1-1 time

Yes tour probably right. I'm finding it hard to though

Your DD lives you so much. You won't be replaced at all.

If this is a new partner, giving a birthday card and having a nice day out are good things. It is positive that she is making an effort with your DD- much better than the alternative.

How long have you been separated? Is this all very raw?

A year
I guess I thought that I might get the old him back, the nice him. While I never really wanted to get back with him I wanted to believe him when he said he'd get back to who he really is and he'd get better and then we'd get along better again. Cos I liked that person not the awful person

Oh big big hugs. In my experience, how "exes used to be" is more about how you'd desperately like them to be, and even if they once were that, they most certainly aren't now. It's heartbreaking to accept that. Maya Angelou once said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." He's most certainly showing you who he is now - believe that.

It would have been much more respectful of him to have let you know about the new partner.

Please please please remember you are a very important person in your DCs lives, most likely the most important. They might like the new partner, and she might become an important part of their lives. But she, nor anyone else, can ever replace you.

Thank you yes your post makes sense

It would be easier if it was a clean break cos then I wouldn't have to confront all these feelings anymore about how he is
But as it is I feel like I can't get away cos he's her dad