Partner left me whilst pregnant

[KAB1291]

I'm 13+5 and my partner left me two weeks ago. I'm 28 and he is 30.

The pregnancy was a total shock surprise, and if I'm completely honest he was over the moon to begin with and I was the one that had doubts. After a few weeks it sank in and I joined his excitement.

We found a house together, planned everything, went shopping, picked names etc. He was so supportive as I've been off work and hospitalised a few times with hyperemisis.

Then all of a sudden he became distant and decided he needed time to clear his head.

His reason was that he had doubts that the baby was his due to him thinking that he couldn't conceive (due to prior overuse of steroids & cocaine) however this was never medically confirmed to him.
I gave him some space in case he just needed time to deal with it, however now he is completely refusing that he is the father.

He has left me now almost homeless (as he cancelled our new home together and I have handed in my notice at my current private let and cannot extend). I have no money to pay a deposit for a new private let and I'm terrified to go into homeless accommodation.

I'm struggling with how to deal with it, I can't afford an anti-natal DNA test as they are around £700. I have battled with depression most of my adult life, and right now all I feel I do is cry.

Does anyone have any advice on where I would even start?!

So sorry...what an arse! Don't even think about the test at the moment. The main thing is your accomodation.

Has your landlord found a new tenant already? No chance of taking back your tenancy?

If not, call your local council and explain to them...tell them everything that has happened. Also call SHELTER. They're very good.

Have you any family?

You will be able to get a court ordered DNA test later down the line. The Father will be expected to pay for his part of the test.

But don't think about that now. I BET he comes crawling out of the woodwork when the baby arrives. Are you in touch with his family?

sorry for your situation.
how long have you known him?
if he has history of cocaine, etc. i wouldnt trust him with future. he maybe turned to his old ways.
look after yourself and the baby. best wishes.

@BillHadersNewWife
yeah my landlord has already extended my time here so I have until the end on November.
I think I will need to contact the local council and explain the circumstances and ask for advice from them as to what I should do in terms of accommodation.

I don't have a lot of family, and unfortunately they aren't the type that I can rely on. My mum is an alcoholic and my dad lives too far away.

His family have been mega supportive though, his mum has been my rock. She told him to sort himself out or leave their family home as she couldn't cope, and that's exactly what he has done, left. He won't tell anyone where he is staying which is frustrating.

I am very confident that the cocaine habit would not reform, although I don't have a high opinion of him in terms of what has happened between us, I do believe that he wouldn't go back to that life.

I know he will be a sorry man when the baby is here, and he will be an amazing dad. But that doesn't excuse the fact that right now he has left us, it will take a huge amount of effort for me to relax enough to allow him to be part of the baby's life x

The council should assist even though technically you've made yourself homeless...it wasn't your fault. What they may do is give you a deposit for a new rental.

I advise you to avoid him at the moment; focus entirely on looking after yourself and getting a new place.