Seeking support for my friend and advice :new mum

[Spanglyprincess1]

My friend gave birth two weeks and had a bad time of it and her and baby are still in hospital, baby is okay but unwell.
She was in a relationship with dad but early stages broke down and he blocked her on everything when said she was pregnant. Total shock but she decided to keep the pregnancy. She's updated him by letter twice of pregnancy and told him of the live birth but nothing.
She knew his parents well ish and is toying with idea of telling them. As she would want to know herlsef if had a grnadchild and just because he is being an arse shouldnt deprive them of right to meet their only grandchild.
I'm honestly not sure if it's a good idea. Any thoughts from ppl who have expirence of this?
She will claim Cms etc once baby is registered.
Is there anything else she should. Or can do?
I'm offering practical help and giving old baby clothes toys etc etc.

I wouldn't personally. She needs to worry about herself and the baby, not other people. There's no tangible benefit to her or the baby having them in their lives

I think she's just sad that her little chap won't see his paternal family. Which I get.
He's a beautiful little soul

That's not on her though, it's on her scabby ex. She might open a mega can of worms by being in contact with the family

Yeah I know I said that. It's a hard thing as she likes them but personally I do agree it's a bad call.

I guess the way I see it is the father has behaved horribly but he might change his tune when there's an actual baby rather than the idea of one and she needs to protect them both

My advice would be not to put father on birth certificate given his disinterest. Doing this gives him automatic parental rights which if he wanted to get involved later makes freedom to make choices more difficult. CMS do not backdate claims so she should apply as soon as she is able. On the GP front, I would say she does not have to stress about making decision immediately. Baby is still poorly. There is time for her to get settled and just focus on her and baby now and still lots of time for GP to become part of baby’s life in the future.

Yeah agreed. I've offered to drive her to do practical stuff like register irth or do other things.
Just been a difficult journey for her and I think she deserves a break but isn't getting one really, what with baby being poorly too.

Yes if he isn’t involved he won’t go on the birth certificate .

With informing grandparents. She just needs to bear in mind .

They may already know, they may be interested but if they get to know baby then they may be able to apply for access. Be particularly aware if they are left .

I would tell her to give herself a bit of time. Baby won’t care one way or the other .