I don't want to bore with irrelevant details but briefly my DS (19 months) has had limited contact with his father. From months 0-6 this was his father's choice. He was erratic about turning up to contact from 6-11 months. Then I cut off contact for a while because I was finding it unmanageable, partly as his father couldn't stick with boundaries and kept making advances on me. Eventually when DS turned about 18 months he started visiting him again and has seen him a few times. He's probably seen him 10-15 times in his life, so they don't know each other that well. I do most of the parenting as you can guess.
I am trying my best to start a sensible coparenting relationship but DS' father is very arrogant and keeps trying to "advise" me as to the best way to parent our son. Whilst trying to be respectful of this, he doesn't afford me the same courtesy. DS is, I think, very well behaved for his age: he is gentle; follows instructions; is fun and articulate. I can't see any problem. I follow an approach with him which is perhaps quite "gentle" in accordance with his age, I follow authors like Sarah Ockwell Smith and Janet Lansbury, although I do uphold boundaries which are necessary for safety/not to hurt others/not making a mess etc.
To be honest all the criticism is stressful and annoying and feels very unfair. How does someone get to play a very limited role for 18 months and then feel they can wade in and criticise? Or could I be looking at it more constructively? The thing that really grates on me is that I had a strict upbringing and have been fairly successful in life... his father has... not. So I don't feel he's in a position to lecture me about bringing up children, personally.
Any thoughts?!