What shall i do, its dragging me down 😔

[laney15]

So i have a court order for ds he sees his dad twice aweek at the end of the order its states the parties may agree any additional or alternative contact arrangements between themselves. This was made in june and till aug he had a "getting to know his son" contact. Now hes asking for overnights, extra time. And as i say no he gets very abusive says i change things when i have done as the order states, it also says to contact only in emergency he constantly messages me and when i donr reply im nasty and stopping a bond with his son. Ive been asked twice if im on drugs, that im not cooperating i need to grow up and stop acting like a king. All i have done is stick by the order and tell him he should have asked for what he wanted in court! We meet in a public place due to DV off him this was what CAFCASS advised. I just dont know what to do anymore. I will ring my solicitor tomorrow but any advice offered will be much appreciated. Im just worn out with it all

I'd contact the police, that behaviour seems like harassment to me and i would feel threatened by it.

I just feel im wasting police time. I have him blocked on everything but email which is there for emergencys. Hes drove past my house a few times too when there is no need to he takes the long way round to where we meet so he passes. I get told im not the boss of him or own him so cant tell himwhere to drive. Its just so strange to me 😔

You don't need to deviate from the court order at all. Don't give into his bullying. The clause about making changes is just so that you aren't stuck with it forever if you can agree on something else. It doesn't mean that he is immediately allowed to insist on doing something different.

Thanks for the clarity. Thats what i thought but he seems to think he can now demand what he wants. I hate having to meet to hand over but because of work pattern i dont have anyone else to do it. I hand over and say bye love you to ds and walk off he tries to talk but i walk off x

Protect yourself and your child by logging the messages and drive by's with the police non Emergency number.

Once you have done this inform him in an e mail this is ehat you have done. And if he does it one more time you will contact the police again and ask for the matter to be investigated.

In the mean time speak to a solicitor regarding ypur court order as he is in breach. See if they think there is enough for you to take it back court for this. Logging his actions with the police will help this.

Sitting back and not rocking the boat may seem like the best thing to do now but it isnt. If he escalates you need as much evidence as possible to protect you both.

He is still trying to control the narrative.

Thank you for your advice. It helps alot. He even had a woman messaging my elder son telling him hes a crackhead last nite. All because my son stuck up for me. Its all getting out of hand. I need advice on handover because i dont want to be in that predicament anymore tbh.

You would not be wasting police time. At all. Use them to protect yourself.

I have reported it they are coming to see me today. I dont know why he just cant see him the days hes meant to and enjoy his time with him. Our son has been really poorly the last week and he still went to his dads with his medication now if i was being awkward i wouldnt have let him go. Its just not fair. Least i have reported it now. Thanks for helping me i thought i was going insane 😔

Just wanted to reassure you that you are not alone. I have exactly the same going on. It’s like ex looks for the smallest loophole to abuse when this open wording is there to allow the relationship to evolve naturally over time, not to enable demands to be made. Mine don’t really want to see their NRP but according to them they are always asking for more time and to stay over. Not what they have told Cafcass, the school, therapists or a letter they wrote the judge!! Obviously I put them up to all these things 🙄

My little boy is 2 next month and he does like going now at first he screamed. Ive learnt not to ask what hes done with him etc but he messages to tell me! The last 4 times hes had him hes sat in his bedroom with him doing nowt. His excuse"its raining and hes been poorly". Kids love rain take him out in it! The week he was poorly was with me and i still took him out for fresh air. The last 2 days he had him he still sat in his room with him, yes he was getting over his illness ans still on meds for it, ds mite as well have stayed here as there wasnt much "bonding" going on. Ex sees at as his time to have his son not our son having quality time with him. All i hear is its his right to see HIS son, im fed up of it i though after court it would all end but it hasnt 😔

So spoke to my solicitor she told me to be stern and tell him in bulletpoints all the things agreed already and that he should get legal advice too. She said if he takes me back to court now the judge wudnt look kindly upon him as he already gets what he asked for in june. She also said if he carrys on with the harrasment we will look at legal action too. Its better to hear it from my solicitor now i know im doing all the right things. Our son is happy in he routine so why change it all again? Hes only 2 kids love routine the ex doesnt realise this 😔