What does Maintenance cover?

[Stilllearning0234]

AIBU to expect my ex to pay towards our sons lunches and school uniform? According to Moneysavng expert: "The legal definition of child maintenance is that it should be a contribution to the PWC's household not school fees or costs."
He lives with me all week and is with his mum Fri, Sat for 3 weeks per month, just Sat the fourth so we have some "play" time.
I get £80 / month from her in maintenance which goes into a saving account for DS (he's 11 BTW).
She moved away with her new partner to a £1.5m house, 3 cars and two of his sons.
I really am confused by this, AIBU expecting her to contribute school costs? In the summer they took our DS to Wales for a weeks holiday and then when he was with me they, new partner and his sons, all flew to Mexico.
I do not feel any bitterness, over all that, just totally confused how a mum can behave like this ?? AIBU???

Is she paying through CMS or was the £80 what was agreed between you both? Is she working?

If that's the amount CMS have calculated, then I'm afraid she doesn't need to pay you a penny more.

But any decent parent pays above and beyond the legal minimum and contributes in whatever other ways they can.

I think yabu in the sense that legally she only has to pay what cms says.

In answer to the questions:

This was dealt with via CMS who calculated the sum due.
She is not employed but has income from a property rental.

Having done some digging it would appear that:

The CMS provide what the minimum should be and will impose this if necessary.
There is nothing from them, or any other Gov department, which states what is can or cannot be used for but it would appear that it is assumed to contribute to daily costs; heating, a home, clothes etc.
Any money sought for specific items will be paid as result of a moral obligation and nothing more.

Which is what you have all said.

Thanks for the feedback.

Sadly the CMS amount is meant to cover the NRP's contribution. Like many RPs, I get maintenance with no contribution towards school trips, uniforms, childcare etc. Lots of us here in the same boat if you need to rant.

Thanks DuchessMinie.

Do I need to rant ?
I think probably not but I would really like to understand how some minds work.

I think the point is some NRPs are just incredibly selfish. Out of sight out of mind. They assume the RP will do everything thing and all they have to do is hand over their money - and they usually thoroughly resent that. It takes a lot more than CMS cash to raise a child.

@Stilllearning0234 one thing That have learnt is being bitter about the money only makes you miserable because the NRP doesn't care.

I think you are spot on - she doesn't care about the money or any potential consequences or benefits for our DS. I think that that is what I don't get.

Thanks all.

There are many nrp both male and female ( not all can I add)who seem to resent paying anything and fail to see their contribution can enhance the child’s life.

Like many single parents, you will receive the bare minimum and nothing you can do about it I'm afraid.

Taking the stepchildren to Mexico and not him was a really shitty move, how does your son feel about it?

Its a story as old as time. I honestly think NRP forget or have never even experienced how expensive supporting a child as a RP is.

Its like they believe their money is supporting the RP's lavish lifestyle

Plus anytime the RP does something for themselves it's seen as proof that they don't need the money from the NRP. My ex actually thought when we were in mediation that it worked by me working out the expenses of my (RP) household, seeing what the shortfall was from my full-time wage and then he just had to make up the difference. By that logic, RPs on a decent wage would be entitled to nothing. Some NRPs seem to think that RPs should bear every cost possible and any personal spending is 'their ' money, instead of seeing that the maintenance rightly frees up some of the RPs own earnings for their own spending.

She's probably paying the exact amount based on what she makes from her rental property.
I feel sorry your DS has to see his Mum living in luxury with her new 'family'. A lot of men do this and I think it's awful.
Her loss I say. You sound very nice. A lot of single Mums get free school meals & help with various things. Not sure if you are eligible based on your salary?