Single Mum Guilt

[mumaoftwo]

I have two children of two different fathers. I have a huge guilt to my children that I'm not giving them a "real family" as I've recently split with my second BD.
Both Baby dads are not great fathers- financially, physically or emotionally but I can't help but feel like I've let my kids down.
Did anyone else ever feel Like this? Like your failing your children by not giving them that stable family unit with both mum and dad living together? Very early days of split from my second BD and don't understand how I'd ever have that family unit ever again now

Mum guilt is a concept to make women stay in their place. Do men ever feel guilt for working, not being emotionally available enough, not paying their way? No, because they aren’t told their whole lives that if anything happens with their kids it’s their fault and responsibility.

I understand why you feel like you do, I’m a lone parent also. But you are exactly what your children need, they don’t need some fairytale family setup, they need you. Don’t feel guilt for men’s shitty behaviour, that is not your responsibility. That’s on them. You are enough!

I have guilt that I made a spectacularly poor choice by having my DC with their father. However, if I'd had them with anyone else, they wouldn't be them.

It sucks, OP, but you can't change the past - I absolutely get why you're feeling like this atm, but there's no reason why children from a single parent family can't have a wonderful and fulfilling family life. Family is what you make it.

If you want to start feeling better, I'd list out all the things you're not going to miss about your ex. For me, it's great being able to make decisions and not being controlled by someone else. There will be positives in your situation, you just have to find them!

One loving parent is a hell of a lot better than staying with someone who is not a good dad. Some of the most brilliant, strong, well adjusted women I know have estranged fathers. It's tough for you and it's not fair but just give it your all and don't feel guilty for a second. It's not your fault.

Feeling guilt just means your a good mum and care about your kids it's 2019 but families are all different set ups I have 3 kids on my own sometimes it's the best option tbh