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Original poster

Christmas arrangements

7 replies

MissBev · 19/09/2019 18:13

Hi, I’m after some advice about Xmas. My ex left 2 years ago and has asked if he can spend Xmas (23rd-27th) with our two children. He would be taking them to visit his family 5 hours away with his new gf, who he left us for. I just can’t imagine a Christmas without my kids! I have offered to share Xmas day, that he can stay over on Xmas eve, that he can be here as much as he likes, or have them for Boxing Day etc at his house. I can understand that he wants Xmas with his family and the kids but it seems really unfair on me! Also, he has been rubbish at sticking to his weekends and not having them enough in the holidays etc Anyway, advice/suggestions would be appreciated! Thank you Smile

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 19/09/2019 18:53

How old are the children?

What has happened last year?

carly2803 · 19/09/2019 21:47

short answer. no.

i think (personally)! christmas should be shared. my x andi share christmas, luckily we get on amicably. But works both ways, children are entitled to see both parents over christmas.

to me a fairer way would be either you have children say 24th until 25th noon and he has 25th noon to boxing day.

HTH

NorthernSpirit · 19/09/2019 22:26

A judge would award alternative Christmas & NYE if it went to court. It’s only fair.

DuchessMinnie · 20/09/2019 08:50

My ex gave up all contact last year but previous to that we took turns at Christmas. The first Christmas after we separated he took them to South Africa for 2 weeks, it was the longest 2 weeks of my life so I know how you're feeling. It's fair though and I got through it and the children absolutely loved having Christmas with their dad.

Lonecatwithkitten · 20/09/2019 10:47

Splitting Christmas in some form is the fairest way to go. There are two common methods.
Method 1: parent 1 has Christmas Eve till middle of Christmas Day. Parent 2 has middle of Christmas Day to Boxing Day. Next year they switch
Method 2: alternate Christmas days the length of time varies from as short as Christmas Eve, Christmas Day parent 1 and then Boxing Day parent 2. To as long as parent 1 23 to 30 then parent 2 30 to 5/1.
Alterrnate Christmas is the most common in court orders.
We did alternate christmases and I approached my years without DD as it's just a day and we did Christmas on a different day ( usually New Year's Day). I then worked Christmas Day.
It is tough, but children deserve to have experienced Christmas Day with both parents.

3xcookedchips · 20/09/2019 19:36

@NorthernSpirit

Its not that definitive - where Christmas is pent with the wider family and significant travelling is involved - 23-27 is not unreasonable as it allows the children to relax in to their uuroundings and avoid unnecessary shuttling back and forth...

Youseethethingis · 20/09/2019 22:21

I know you can’t imagine not seeing your kids at Christmas but can your kids imagine never being allowed to see their own family over Christmas? Much depends how bothered they would be about that. Would the kids like to see them or are they not close because of the distance?
Having said that, I get why you would resent giving up one of the pinnacles of parenthood to some flakey twit who doesn’t seem that bothered the rest of the year Flowers

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