Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Getting separated, pregnant 28 weeks and have a 8 months old

11 replies

Teddy091993 · 14/09/2019 18:30

Hi everyone, im new here.
I don’t even know where to start.
Please i need suggestions and advice regarding of my current situation.
I have been in a relationship for more than 6 years. There were plenty problems and issues and i never been strong enough to do what is the best for me.
But now we have. 8 months old son and im currently 27 weeks pregnant.
Everything got worse in this relationship.
Now I decided its time to separate as there were some domestic violence and abuse going on. I do not want to ge into details. Simply would like to know what are my options. As im currently have no money of my own. Child benefits is under his name. Im not an UK citizen im from Europe, but my child and second child will be as my partner is UK citizen. I wanted to stay here in UK as i do not wish to separate the children from their dad even after all the bad things and abuse from him. I simply wanna look after my children and make sure they are happy and have great future. I would like to start working or find any job as soon as i can after giving birth. At the moment I just wanna know what kind of help I could get as the place we are living is under his name, he is paying everything and I don’t have anything. Simply said I don’t know what do to as end of the month the we have to move out. I tought he will be reasonable but at this moment he is threatening me that i will be deported and the children will be with him. I didn’t wanna include any authorities regarding of the abuse as he has other children as well and i do not wish to be the cause any problems for them as well as they love their father deeply. I would like to do what is best for my children.
Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Teddy091993 · 14/09/2019 18:34

27 weeks and 6 days pregnant exactly. I didn’t want to confuse anyone by the title where is 28 weeks and then in the post 27.

OP posts:
xtinak · 14/09/2019 21:01

Hi Teddy. Really sorry to hear you have been going through this. Is there a local women's charity you could get in touch with? Such as Women's Aid. They would be able to give you help and guidance. I hope someone else more knowledgable will come along and make further suggestions. I wish you all the best.

LIZS · 14/09/2019 21:05

If you are from eu you can apply to reside. Noone is going to deport you leaving young children here. You p is bullying and abusing you by saying otherwise. Ask WA to refer you for legal advice.

LIZS · 14/09/2019 21:07

If you are from eu you can apply to reside. Noone is going to deport you leaving young children here. You r p is bullying and abusing you by saying otherwise. Ask WA to refer you for legal advice.

Original poster
Teddy091993 · 14/09/2019 21:35

Hi xtinak, thank you for your advice. I didn’t wanna involve women’s aid as I really didn’t wanna anyone lnow about the abuse. I feel ashamed of that, and I don’t want my family to find out. I really tought that I somehow reasonable get separated from my partner but its seems he is making things difficult for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Teddy091993 · 14/09/2019 21:36

Thank you Lizz, i did apply already for the EU settlement status waiting for their decision now. I can just hope it wil have the best outcome.

OP posts:
xtinak · 14/09/2019 22:56

Could you email the women's aid helpline ([email protected]) even from an anonymous email account to ask for advice. I think they will be able to do a good job of talking you through your options, even if you decide you don't want to get further involved with them.

Starlight456 · 15/09/2019 00:04

I will tell you . You have no reason to be ashamed . You need to discuss with he. Any violence log with the police. It is important to protect your children and vthis comes above pride.

Original poster
Teddy091993 · 15/09/2019 08:47

My partner agreed on finding help and working it out. I suggested GP right away and he agreed to do the work on himself as he do not approve his own behaviour. we supposed to move to different town because I needed help from my friends an family for the arrival of the new baby all the papers signed already, I really really think it through and will try to give it another shot but I agreed only as my partner agreed for finding help. I would never think in million years he would agree but simply he realises he has anger issues and he cannot control it and he said he doesn’t wanna show the children that this behaviour is acceptable and they would grow up thinking its ok.
He knows what he did was wrong in the past and he is trying to work on it by himself and with help of the GP. I was surprised even now he would do that. He also mentioned that the change he need its not only for the children and me but for himself too. He said he had enough with the outburst of anger and simply wanna have happy moments and memories instead of bad ones. What do you think mums?

OP posts:
xtinak · 15/09/2019 18:26

Hi Teddy. I hope you can work things out. In case things don't improve, maybe you should still figure out your options and make a plan so that you are ready to leave if you have to. Just in case. I hope things work out for the best.

Starlight456 · 15/09/2019 18:44

A Hv told me that abusive partners do the minimum to keep the partners where they want them . Be aware

New posts on this thread. Refresh page