Greedy? Or fully entitled to more?

[FreshlySingleMummaOf2]

I separated from the husband nearly 3 months ago, after standing my ground against his controlling abusive behaviour. By finally telling someone about his disgusting actions he agreed to leave to get help. He still hasn't!! But thats not my point today 🙄🙄 anyway, I have been a stay at home Mum for the last few years whilst he progressed and focused on his career. He has agreed to pay mortgage, gas/elec/water and the finance on the car. Which due to our high mortgage is about 1400 a month. I know he has been promoted and I know he is earning more than double that a month. He says if he's paying the bills he won't pay maintenance. Therefore living with his parents, paying no rent to them so having a large amount of disposable money to enjoy so much more with the kids. Is that fair?? Am I entitled to more??? I currently receive universal credit, an i was impressed with the amount. But after paying child care, council tax, phone bill, petrol and food I'm left with about £30 to spend on myself and the kids each week. Its making me so down, I went to a job fair today, was basically told my many companies because I'm not flexible enough I'm not employable!!

Im feeling so disheartened that I can't afford the life he will now throw at my children. I know it isn't about money, but with the run up to my 1st Xmas alone im feeling so deflated. Am I entitled to more help? Or just being greedy? My mental health is suffering, thought I had my shit together but not sure I do.

You cant expect maintenance and the bills paid. If the house has little or no equity you need to find somewhere to rent and claim the housing element from uc. Your aim needs to be that you are self sufficient with maintenance for your dcs. In time you will find a job but as it stands once he moves out of his parents you will be up shit creek. He wont be able to fund two properties and shouldn't have to.

Be careful, he'll very likely reduce that in time. Try to save anything you can and try to get yourself set up. Don't rock the boat.

Re: the 15 hours, it is entirely possible that the op lives somewhere that no one offers it or as I suspect the way it works for her means she has extra costs ie meals. Yes I know it can be entirely free but when I used it I did 2 fulls days as it suited me better but that meant I paid for lunch and tea on top.

The problem is when he decides to move on. He's not going to want or be able to pay 50% when he can legitimately pay only 20. You say he's controlling and this will become a method for him to keep you in line. No one on benefits has £300 spare a week. What you have now isn't sustainable yet friends are telling you it should be more. You're in a precarious position, he knows it and he has the ability to pull the rug from under your life at anytime as it stands. I've seen this happen to several friends and within a short time they were all fighting for minimal CM and it screwed them financially.

Just go through CMS (Child maintenance service) then you know what you are entitled too.

Your ExH will need a house too so he can have his children also. Whilst you don't want to take his feelings into consideration you need to take your children's feelings into consideration so they can have a home life with their father also. So go through the CMS and hopefully he will go half's on extras what the children need and want. If you start a war about money so early on, it will burn the bridges in the long run.